Friday, April 8, 2016
THE HAUNTING PAST TAMI'S FAMILY MYSTERY
HAUNTING PAST
TAMI'S FAMILY MYSTERY
After concluding the highly exhausting case, of assisting a Wiccan coven, to overcome some most overzealous religious persecution, Tami was more than ready for some time off. Myself, as well.
It was during the leisurely flight, back to our home base, that the call came through. It must really have been an emergency, for her family to contact Tami, especially through the agency. (Her family was NOT thrilled to have a daughter, who spent her time chasing spirits).
Whatever the problem was, Tami took the call, on a private line As the call went on, I could see the relaxation draining from her body, as she became as taut as she was, when starting a new case.
After the call, Tami went to the conn, asking the pilot how FAST we could reach her family home The pilot responded that we could update our flight plan, from four hours, to one hour, if it was really important. When Tami said "It IS important. We need to get there, now".
With that, she cut the line, and, a moment later, the "Fasten Seat Belt" light came on.
Once our belts were connected, and the pilot had a "green" board, he pushed the throttles to their stops, and the engines screamed, in protest, as the work-horse aircraft increased its speed to the max that the fuselage could take.
With the engines at max rev's, Tami and I could only talk via noise-cancelling headphones. When I asked her what the problem was, all she would say was "My family is under attack".
I could tell that her mind was racing over detaills, at warp speed, even as she, momentarily, un-clipped her seat belt, grabbed a laptop computer, then re-clipped the seat belt, before the pilots lights had a chance to warn that a belt was un-done.
Man! I never saw her fingers move so fast. Not in the whole time I had known her. By the time we reached her home town, Tami had searched over a dozen web-sites, primarily regarding poltergiest activity.
By the time our pilot had the plane on the ground, Tami was up, had her stuff packed, and was headed for her car. By the time our pilot had the "All Clear", to lower the car ramp, Tami had her car warmed up, and in gear. Oddly enough, before exiting the plane, she gave me a kiss, then said "just in case". With that, she was off, and on her way.
When I went back to the conn section, and chanced a call, to her family, I was surprised that they, already, knew not only what I was like, but how well I worked, with Tami, as well.
I asked them to have her call me, when she arrived, just to be sure she was okay. Her mother agreed to have Tami call.
What I never expected was a call, of distress, with Tami crying "HELP!".
Since she was too upset, to give directions, I used her cars GPS tracker, to locate the home, then loaded up my Jeep, and bolted, to help my friend.
Sure, I bbroke some speeding laws, on my journey, but I felt Tami was worth the risk.
When I arrived, on-scene, it was like I walked onto the set, of a high-tech horror movie, as I saw items, large and small, light and heavy, flying about, as Tami's family hid beneath, or behind, anything available.
Well, even I, a more-or-less practicing Shaolin/Wiccan coulld feel the enormous power, at work, at this location. That, and the extreme anger, as well. Something was pissed off, royal!
Taking a risk, for my friends sake, I projected a cleansing, auric, field, around the property. While projecting the field, I caught a glimpse at part of the problem, even as I forced it away from the family home.
It was a demon, for sure. Like a winged lion, except with a slender tail, tipped with what looked like a dart.
Ofcourse, un-like other practicioners, I did not drain my own energy, to produce the field. Instead, I tapped the "universal energy", of the universe, and used this to protect Tami's family.
All that the family knew, though, was that, shortly after my arrival, the attack ended.
Over the next few hours, we put the house back to rights, and her family shared deatils, of various attacks. Details such as Tami's favorite uncle being savagely attacked Whatever had done the deed, though, was not afraid of having an audience.
It seems the mans leg was snapped in two, in front of eight witnesses. The man was, currently at his home, waiting for a cast to harden.
Tami's sister then lifted her top, to show us some claw marks, on her back. Her brother then showed how his shoulder had been dis-located, TWICE. The first time, at a dinner. The second time, in the E.R., in front oof the doctor, who had snapped it back into place.
When the shoulder was dis-located, the second time, hospital staff had thought someone was playing with the hospital intercom system, when a hellish laugh filled the E.R. Tamis brother was, then, knocked out, cold, by an un-seen hand, which left a massive bruise behind.
Staff said nothing, about the incident, and just woke the man, giving him some pain medicine, then sending him home.
I know I may have sounded abrupt, when I asked if anything unusual had happened, recently, but Tami covered for me, saying I was just curious.
Whewn I steeped out of the house, to let the family have some time, in private, I could sense the presense, just beyond the protection barrier. What surprised me, though, was that it felt as though it was, no-longer, a single presense.
I know I counted atleast five presenses, but I felt there were more. They were pressing at my barrier, as if looking for a weak spot, from which to attack Tami's family.
When I wondered what the reason could be, I "felt" the word "Revenge" pound at my consciousness, as if being shouted, by a dozen voices.
When I asked Tami how her family was set up, for the internet, Tami admitted that her parents were not "tech-heads". The family had basic internet, for e-mail, bbut that was about it. This is when I asked her if there was someplace, nearby, where our plane could set down.
Tami only had to think, for a moment, then, looking at the calendar, took out her celll phone, and placed a call.
When the caller answered, Tami said "Mr. Miller, Tami here. Have you taken in your crops, yet?" When the answer came, Tami asked "Would you mind if my family "borrowed" your field, just for a short while?" then "How short? Probably just a few days. Not more than a week." Another break then "Thanks, Mr. Miller, Goodbye".
Half an hour later, Mr. Miller who, himself, was a former soldier, stood, slack-jawed, as our plane made its vertical landing, on his field. Ironically, just two weeks previously, the field had been full of crops, ready for harvest. Now, it was a landing pad, for our cargo plane.
Tami gave her family the "Deluxe" tour, including introducing our pilots, yet, no matter how she tried to impress her mother, with our planes abilities, her mother, in typical, mother, fashion, was more interested in how Tami and I were getting on.
How many times Tami told her mother "He is my friend, and co-worker. Thats ALL", Tami lost track.
When her mother would not let up, Tami agreed to speak to me. Only after this did her mother pay attention to our "flying castle".
For reasons I never considered, Tami's father asked me why Tami and I had seperate quarters. The man actually told me, discreetly, "My daughter is a fine catch. Make a good wife, and mother". Fortunately, I had learned how to re-direct such discussions, just by agreeing to consider the topic.
When her mom invited us for dinner, Tami cautioned me not to accept any sleep-over offers. She had me agree that we would sleep on the plane.
Just as Tami had expected, would happen, at dinner, as her mother, and sister, prepared the meal, her mother said "It wont be any trubble, to make up the guest bedroom, if you two want to use it". Tami responded "Thanks, mom, but we have beds, already".
During this same time, her father, and brothers, regalled me with stories, of Tami's youth, pranks, and so on.
Before dinner was over, I think I knew as much, about my friend, as most husbands of twenty years, know about their wives. I have to give her mom an "A+", for persistence. The woman, although quite friendly about it, offered us the guest bedroom, one, final time, before Tami and I left the house. Tami responded with God NIGHT, mom", then followed me out the door.
On the way back to the plane, I asked Tami about some flickering lights I saw, in the distance. Tami told me not to worry. The lights had been arund since she could remember.
Back at the plane, I could tell that she was un-comfortable, as Tami sat, at her computer terminal, and began digging into her own, family, history. Something she thought she knew, by heart, already.
When I looked upon her, for a moment, I could just imagine the energetic, young, girl, in a pony-tail, out-performing locall boys, in sports, gym class, and even bicycling. A "real spitfire", her father had called her. Her brothers said that, during childhood, they, often, had to remember that she was a girl.
Now, Tami was an excellently developed woman, with soft, kind, features, and wavy, brunette, hair, which flowed down her back. For a moment, I wondered, then I snapped myself out of the thhought, remembering hhow easily women can get offended, and how hard a woomans tongue can be. No, better just forget it, and work the case.
By the time we passed out, I was amazed at how FAR her family could trace its roots Ofcourse, for Tami, who had grown up, in the family, there were no major surprises, in thhe past seven generations.
About the only time I saw her blsuh was when she realized that a friend she had dated, in high school, was, in fact, a distant relative. Tami would say that her family was "open minded", about life, but she was sure that her dad would have taken his belt, to her bottom, if he fund out she was dating a relative (No matter how DISTANT, or how many generations removed).
Thanks to scanners, databases, and preservation teams, Tami learned how an ancestor, a tinker, and shop-helper, by trade, had managed to amass enough wealth to build his family a large, beautiful, house.
It seems that, for quite some time, the man had taken high risk chances, and gambles, to build his fortune. Once he had enough money, the man had used a portion, of his money, to build his beloved her dream house. He had, then, offered her the house, saying he would be part of the deal, IF she would take him.
Tami would remark that this was, oddly, similar to how her father had won her mothers hand, in marriage. It was a story Tami, and her sister, knew by heart.
Their father had been a "tinker", by trade, constantly trying to come up with the "One, hot, idea", which would make his fortune. This was his passion, until he met his future wife.
When the woman realized that he wanted her hand, in marriage, she offered him a deal. She woulld agree to be his wife, bbut with a compromise. He was to agree to take a REAL job, and make sure the bills were paid before anything else. Any money, left over, he could use for his garage workshop, where he could work on his designs.
Teh results were easy to see. Thirty years of marriage, four, grown children. Tami then asked me to remind her, within the next few days, and she would show me her fathers workshop.
What struck me as "odd", about her family tree, was that, over the many generations, only death had seperated couples. Not a single divorce, over the very long history.
That night, dinner invaded my dreams, then morphed in a most un-expected way. For some reason, at dinner, I had taken Tami's hand, lead her through a door, which shoud have lead to the living room. In the dream, though, it lead to a dance floor, where soft music was playing, and her friends were all around us, dancing in couples.
At the end of the dance, Tami and I turned towards some clapping, and Tami blushed as she saw her family, clapping, and smiling, at us.
Come morning, Tami said she was going to continue searching family records, even thhough she was looking at very old, European, records. When I suggested the problem was local, she asked if we should check local deeds. I suggested construction certificates, as well.
As the next few days passed, in a "blur", of investigations, and sharing information, nothing "leapt out" at us. No one had died, suddenly No serious injuries. No disabilities. No other property disturbances. Not one of the usual symptoms, which lead to such "attacks".
To supplement her internet work, Tami made the rounds, of the town, renewing many old friendships, and coming back up to date, with life-long friends.
Not surprisingly, townspeople knew about our plane, yet Tami promised the plane would be gone as soon as her visit was finished. Still, Tami found herself growing increasingly annoyed that peoplle wanted to know more about her "young man". Whhenever possible, Tami re-directed the conversation, to other topics. Her luck, in doing this, ran about 60% positive. Ofcourse, my own luck was not so much better.
It seems that Tami's family had some REAL standing, in thhe community. A "reference", from either of her parents, opened all kinds of "doors", for me.
From friends and neighbors, I learned even more, about Tami's past. I, also, met some of her ex-boyfriends. Not surprisingly, these guys gave Tami the worst back-stories. One guy, I knew I couldn't believe, claimed Tami had atleast seven, maybe nine, abortions, during her teen years.
By the time I spoke to him, though, I had enough of a feeling, for this place, to know such information would be known, by the whole community, IF it were true, and Tami would have been known as a "black sheep". Someone to be avoided, at all costs.
Since Tami's family was known, and respected, and Tami was well thought of, I knew this man was just a spurned suitor.
This, I verified, a short time later, when told Tami had to brush him off, regularly, for over six months, before he would leave her alone.
Although I couldn't blame him, for wanting such a beautiful woman, I did wonder why he spent so long trying for her hand.
Well, that was another mystery. Right now, Tami's family was in trouble, and they needed our help.
The following day, Tami and I walked into the family home, to witness an iron bar, floating, in mid-air, over her brother. The whole family was present, and no one moved.
When my ESP began tingling, I felt the bar being "controlled", from outside the house. Closing my eyes, I tried to follow the trail. It wasn't hard to follow, since so much energy was going into its maintenance, but, just before I reached its finale, I shhot back into my body, as Tami pushed me aside, in the living room.
By that time, the bar was swinging, in mid-air, as if preparing to attack. With almost all of us watching, though, the bar swung, at Tami's brother, hitting him, in the right arm, and so hard that, when the bone broke, the arm went numb.
After that, the bar fell, harmlessly, to the floor.
While the family gathered the young man, and rushed him to the hospital, I followed the "trail", as far as I coulld, then returned to the plane. This is where Tami, later, found me. Whhen she asked "Why are you looking at the old Cooper place?", I told her about folowing my instinct, and finding this place.
Tami told me "The Coopers cant be involved. They moved away, years ago. The bank just hasn't found a buyer, yet".
When I told her "Nevertheless", Tami whirled my chair, to face her, then put her face very close to mine, as she said "Now, listen here", in a strong voice, which softened as she added "The Coopers helped my family, when times were bad. We helped them, as well. They were GOOD people I would bet my life on that".
This is when I decided to change tact, asking "You say they moved out, years ago? Just how LONG ago did they move?" Tami said About five years ago. I think I was a freshman when they moved"
When I asked "What were they into? What did they do with their time?", Tami said "Mr. Cooper mostly worked with my dad. Doing contracting work. Mrs. Cooper was involved, in community events"
When I asked if anything had happened, on their property, after the family left, Tami said "Nothing much. A bit of littering. The police had to run off some campers. A few bbon-fires, from time to time."
This is when I added "So, others COULD have gained access to the property". Tami said "Well, I guess so. I mean, you have seen this town. We are small, and close to our neighbors. We dont put up fences since we respect one anothers property".
I said "Sounds wonderful Does everyone share this vision?" I noticed how Tami started to say "everyone", yet hesitated at "Every...", then she appearred thoughtful, and went to the computer.
She callled up a file, on some guy named Douglas. According to his record, Douglas practically LIVED in the local jail, at times. His crimes, though, were alll misdemeanors, such as Breaking-and-Entering, and taking food.
Tami laughed as she said "One time, Douglas was caught at the scene of a crime He had learned that his potential victim enjoyed cable sports so Douglas made himself "at home", with a snack, grabbed a beer, and watched the game, until the police arrived, and arrested him".
When I asked "Anything to do with spooks?", Tami said "Doug does not even believe in that stuff. He says its alll hockum". She then went thoughtful, for another moment, then suggested someone named "Matt".
When I asked "Your brother?", Tami said "No, another Matthew. A guy who tried everything, including exposing himself, and offering himself, if I would date him".
When she saw my expression, she said "Please, dont ask. Matt is a bad boy. He likes life HIS way. He throws a tantrum whenever things dont go his way".
Tami then went silent, for another moment, even turning thoughtful. She then turned to the computer, entered Matt's name, saying "Matt is into magic, in a big way. Always has been. His parents even let him vacation, at Magic Camps".
When I asked what happened, Tami said "He got real mad, when I turned him down. He claims he cast a fertility spell, over me, so I cannot bear any other mens children".
According to his record, Matt not only looked the part, but, his colleg records indicated that, in college, Matt had taken classes, on Mysticism. Plenty of that, and Wiccan classes, as welll as joining a Pagan club.
Later, when Tami introduced me to him, though, he asked Tami if the spell had worked. When Tami asked "What do you mean?" Matt said "Those claases I took. I was loking for a way to remove the spell I cast, on you. It wasn't right, to make you barren, just because you didn't want me. Thats why I looked up, and used the most power counter-spell I coould find".
When we left Matt, neither of us fellt that Matt was guilty of more than bad judgement, and heartbreak. Tami and I began discussing the possibility that Matt may have known another person Someone more interested in the "arts". Someone who woulld use magic for more sinister goals.
Back at the family home, Tami asked if her mom, who seemed to know the community inside out, knew of any cults, curses, etc To Tami's surprise, her mom said "W have a coven of our own. Nothing "evil", like those foolish movies. Just a group, which blesses the land, and various people".
When Tami asked "Why didn't I know?", her mother would say "Dear, you were never interested. The Wiccan way is onlly for those who are interested."
When Tami went wide-eyed, asking "Are YOU a witch?", her mother smiled and said "Wiccan, and NO, I haven't had the time, so far. I have your father and your brothers, to take care of. I might try it, later, though".
Since Tami knew the internet could only go so far, in providing information, she decided to fall back on the tried-and-true Personal conversations.
Back at the plane, though, we found a message, from Mr. Brown Hwe wanted an update, on thhis investigation. Problem was, all that we knew was that Tami's familly was under attack Witchcraft MIGHT be involved, but there was nothing conclusive. This is when Mr. Brown faxed us some satellite photo's, and asked our opinion.
The photo's showed an incredibly powerful, yet highly focused, beam of energy, in only one, small, area. Mr. Brown added "The color is false It was added to show the energy pattern. Tami, you are familiar with that area, I believe. Can you shed some light?"
Tami saw that the zoom IN photo's showed what I had suspected. The energy eminated from the Cooper property. Tami would have sworn this was impossible. After all, when not working his fields, Mr. Cooper had been an appliance repair man, among other things. His wife had been a school teacher, and neither had ever bbeen interested in magic, or mysticiism. Why was their former property being used to harrass Tami's family?
Then, it hit me.
Using computer graphics, I pulled up geographical, and topographic, maps, of the area. The maps all agreed.
Of all the land, adjacent to Tami's family land, only the Coopers land sat high enough to give an un-obstructed view, of the family land.
When Tami and I went out, to the Coopers old land, we found the front gate locked, BUT we found several openings, in the fence, as well as cuts, which looked to hhave been welded closed.
Taking our sniper scopes, and binoculars along, Tami and I found the spot, from the photo's. From that point, we had a clear vantage point, to the family home. Still, this left us with the question of WHO, and WHY.
Questions which lead us to "brick walls", as far as clues went.
By the end of the week, I felt compelled to erect another layer, of psychic shielding, since the attacker was adding more spiritual energy to the attack.
After awhile, though, Tami said "I dont know which is worse. The spirits, who want to attack my family, or my parents, and their constant questions".
This is why, for three days, Tami and I "hid out", in the plane, when we were not out, doing research.
The most Tami came across was that some of her friends were considering joining their mothers, in the coven.
As for me, all I found out was that some local boys were petitioning, to change their team name, for the school team. The boys wanted a more menacing name, according to word of mouth, a new "mascot" had been designed, and built. Something far more vicious than the current mascot.
The problem Tami and I faced was that nothing "popped". Tami's home town was a "picture of Americana". Maintained homes, good manners, clean streets, good education.
The local churches taught good, Christian, values, and there was no radical element about.
In fact, the town was so devoid, of anything even remotely "evil" that it made no sense that spirits were "voluntarily", attacking the family home.
When Tami and I realized that there had to be a reason, Tami kept drawing blanks. Her family had been a part of this community, for longer than she could remember. Tami had known friends since she could walk, and talk.
When I asked about possiblle events, in her past, Tami reminded me that she had NO past. I did love the way she asked "How OLD do you think I am?". I suggested "Maybe, something, from your childhood. A dis-agreement, over a toy. Maybe some candy, or even a movie".
It wasn't until we were sitting, back, in the plane, watching a classic horror film, shot in black and white, that Tami thought of something. In the scene we were watching, a woman spurns a mans advances, yet, instead of walkiing away, the man uses the balance of the movie to conjure spells, and evil, to make the lady "pay" for rejecting him.
Tami would tell me "That reminds me of Martin." When I asked "Who was he?", Tami said "Martin asked me out, but he acted like he was so afraid of even talking to me that I turned him down. I knew that a date, with him, would be un-comfortable".
Whhen I asked "What happened?", Tami said "He got so upset that he slashed the tires, on my bicycle, and my parents cars. Funny, he couldn't ask me out, yet he was able to announce, with pride, that he slashed the tires, because of me."
When I asked "What was the result?", Tami said "His parents were told to replace the tires, and he got sentenced to three months, cleaning the citys park."
She then added "Yu know, since then, he has never spoken to me, again. When I look at him, he seems so empty This is why I leave him alone".
When I began to ponder this, for a moment, Tami snuggled up to me, and said "Martin wouldn't do this. He would be afraid of offending me." When I asked "Are you sure?", I noticed that she gave this some thought.
After all, it IS known that spurned love drives some people to doo very radical things. All "In the name of love..." It is a most convenient excuse, for doing very bad things.
It was not until Tami began investigating Martins actions, that a pattern began to emerge.
The local libbrarian admitted that, over the past year, Martin had begun checking out books, on the occult, witchcraft, and parapsychology.
When Tami checked the local herbbs store, the owner verified that, oover the past few months, Martin had been buying "bits and pieces", including incense holders, and even ordering exotic fragrances
The clothing store admitted that Martin had ordered a robe, and thick, woolen, thread.
Martins own family told us that Martin had moved out, some time ago, and wass not keeping in touch.
As Tami and I tried to track Martin down, dark, storm, clouds, began gathering, over the area.
During our drive, babck to the plane, where we hoped to access Martins current address, a spire, of flame, seemed to shoot up, into the clouds, from somewhere near her family's property.
Since Tami was behind the wheel, I shouted "Hit the brakes" as, in true, female fashion, Tami took her eyes off the road, to look at the spire. When she recovered herself, Tami asked "Doesn't that look suspiciously close to our ride?" (She meant the plane, ofcourse).
I agreed that it seemed very close, so I suggested we check out the plane, as soon as possible.
When we returned to the plane, our pilots were watching the spire, as well, since it semed close by. As the sky grew darker, lightning bolts began bursting forth, as they do, from funnel clouds. The wind also picked up, and a steady rain began to fall.
Whie the pilots secured Tami's car, Tami and I packed my Jeep, then took off, in the direction of the "spire".
Even with the foul weather, it didn't take long for the durable Jeep to find its mark, and deliver us back to the place where Tami and I had viewed her parents house from, earlier.
We didn;t bother videotaping whhat we found, upon our arrivall since I was sure critics would insist the footage was altered, anyway.
What we found, though, was Martin, kneeling, bbefore an altar, reading from a very old book, even as the storm grew worse and egan to concentrate over the family home. The real shocker, here, was the demon, which was standing behind Martin, encircled by flames. What a nightmare sight that was.
Whhen Tami tried to call out, to Martin, Martin seemed to ignore her, while the demons, deep bass, voice said "He cannot hear you. He is mine".
When Tami was like "I dont understand. What did you do to him?", the demon smiled a wicked smile as it said "I did nothing to him. He came to me".
When Tami said "I doubbt that, he wouldn't", the demon let out a loud laugh as it said "The fool came to me, asking me to make you his. When I named my price, he said you were worth it".
What I could not believe was when Tami asked me "What do we do? I cant let him destroy my family". All I could suggest was thhat Tami try to "talk Martin down". At that point, neither Tami nor I realized just how far gone Martin was.
When Martin ignored Tami's plea's, including when she asked him "If its me you want, spare my family. Take me instead".
For a moment, Martin seemed to faulter, then the demon gave him a look, and Martins body went stiff, as if an electric shock had surged through his body. This is when I went to the Jeeps weapons bin, and withdrew a loaded revolver. Using laser targetting, I shot Martin, before Tami could give me away.
When Martin's body slumped over, the demons fire went away, then the demon, looking a bit annoyed, dissolved into the air.
Moments later, the weather began too clear, even as Tami went to Martin who, she said whispered "I'm sorry. I love you", then went limp.
Despite my CPR training, our attempts, in all, brought no pulse back to Martins body. I can only think that Martin must hhave been, fatally, weakened, by the demon, for the tranquilizers darts to terminate his life signs.
After it was over with, and Tami asked "Why? Why did he do it?", I suggested "Maybe, he thought you were worth it. After all, you ARE a beautiful woman". I was prepared for her to say "Oh, shut up", but the words didn't come.
The following week, the community mourned the mans loss. Martin may not have been a "pillar" of the community, but he was helpful, in many ways, and to many people.
Tami said that, in retrospect, she felt terrible, for her part, in his life, and death. When she began to wonder "What if?", her mother cautioned her with "What is is what is. You cannot change what is".
With Tami feeling so down, over recent events, I made the report, to Mr. Brown, who agreed to give us some rest time. Our next case could wait a few days.
As for me, I gave Tami her space, knowing that she needed time to think.
It would be her mother who would ask "While you are feeling sorry for yourself, who is ging to take care of your man?" When Tami responded "He (me) is NOT my man. He is my friend, and co-worker. Nothing more", her mom just said "Keep telling yourself that, kid. Eventually, you might just believe it".
It was her family's gentle ribbing, which brought Tami out of her despair.
By the time her family was seeing us off, Tami was grateful to be away from her loving family, and their endless suggestions, about "US".
During Tamis depression, I had little to do, so I took some drawing paper, pencil, and crayons, and made her a "one-of-a-kind" "feel better" card.
For the life of me, I will never understand why she started crying, whhen I presented her the card. It was intended to make her feel happy, not make her run off, to her quarters, and cry.
Later, when we belted in, for vertical launch, Tami said nothing, even as we converted to horizontal fight. Her family, and home town, were safe, now, and we were off, to help some other clients.
All in a days work, for us private detectives, I guess.
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