REGRETS

REGRETS That is what my skeptics were left with, as time passed. Regrets, such as the women, who had, openly, publicly, and LOUDLY, proclaimed "You are NOT a MAN!", "You dont DESERVE a WOMAN!", and "You will NEVER be anything!" These were the women who thought that having men, similar to "Conan the Barbarian", would mean that the men would let NOTHING stop them, from reaching their goals. These were the women who stood by while men talked, endlessly, about their goals, and how "famous" they would be, "some-day". These were the women, who waited in lines, at food pantries, for anything they could get. The women, who watched as men sat in front of televisions (when not working at any jobs they could find), eating snack foods, and drinking cases of beer. The women, who, eventualy, ended up becoming their mens "care-givers", once the mens body weight exceeded certain levels, and the mens legs gave out. Ofcourse, among some of these women, it was neither age, nor condition, which stopped men, from achieving certain goals. For these women, "conjugal visits" were the main time when the women, and their children, saw the men. The men were behind bars, serving time, for a wide variety of felonies. The women were left to raise children, on their own. And not to dis-clude the men, from among my skeptics. "Men", who, openly laughed at my idea's, and plans. Men, who would rather try to win drinking contests, than to consider the future. Then, there was Valerie. A woman I got involved with because her boyfriend wanted her to have her breasts enlarged, to "D" size, as well as other enlargements. Since Valerie had been told, by her friends, that I HAD to be a homosexual, yet these same women admitted that, at times, I had been helpful, on things like odd jobs, and reading mail, yet I never demanded sex, for my services. When Valerie got up the courage, to ask ME for my opinion, I told her that I couldn't give her any opinion, except that her outline, from her clothes, made her look very nice, to me. While Valerie knew it was a "trap", on my part, when she asked if she looked "kissable", I took her into my arms, and our first kiss ended up lasting LONGER than either of us had planned. The next time I saw Valerie, she had a bandage, on her neck. This is when she asked me "WHY do men need to BITE women?" When I told her "Not all men do." She smiled as she said "I'll bet". Valerie not only "lost" that bet, but, by the time I left her place, she had to sit back, rest, and enjoy the feeling, of the air, carressing her exposed, aroused, breasts. Valerie had said nothing, about our next "date", when she heard her friends saying that they doubted that I could "get it up." Valerie knew the truth, having tasted me, more than once. The reason why Valerie kept silent was because she wondered if I could, actually, bring about the changes, which, as she learned, while we snuggled, after the fact, that I was working on. It had taken Valerie just five hours, with a friends help, between visits two and three, to find the information, about my actions. So far, I had spoken with three, cultural, groups, and was preparing to meet others, all with a single goal in mind. I was doing everything, in my power, to prevent Washington D.C. from making the same mistake, which had cost the Russians so much money, with so little benefit. The White House was DETERMINED to build the wall, no matter how much opposition there was. The new Berlin Wall, was being pushed on the American people, just as past wars had been. Valerie found out that I was "championing" an alternative, to this waste of money. On "date" number three, Valerie had asked, and I gave her as much as I could, about my plan. A plan, which was gaining support, by the day. While Valerie knew it was a mistake, by the time "date" number four, was at hand, my plan, for state-hood, had the full backing, and support, of FIVE, cultural, groups. This is why, on "date" number four, she opened, wide, to me, and, once I had penetrated, she found herself hoping that I would forget about it, and leave it inside her. Valerie smiled at this thought, since she knew it was CONNECTED to me. While Valerie asked me what I thought, at the end of each "date", all I could think of, to say was "To me, you are perfect as you are. I would not change a thing." Valerie suggested that I was just saying this, just for access to her bed. She just did not know WHAT to think, when I provided her with a lovers ring. Later, while her boyfriend was off, doing who-knows-what, with who-knows-who, Valerie stood beside me, when no less than twenty-five cultural groups lent their support, publicly, to my state-hood idea. Now, sure, the White House threw another tantrum, over this, but what could they do? I had the support of the international community. While Valerie offered me the next three months, as permission, due to my national efforts, to enter her bedroom, what annoyed Valerie was her own mother. A woman, who was trying to turn our mid-week, and weekend, "dates" into courtship. No matter how many times Valerie said "Mother, we are FRIENDS. Nothing more." Her mother just gave that "I KNOW" look. While Valerie had offered me three months, of access, as the end, of our deal, drew near, she whispered "Do we need to watch the clock, that closely?" Six months later, and Valerie had me scheduled, in her personal calendar, even as she watched as I took on the White House, again. This time, over that insane idea, of ending school shootings, by providing teachers with fire-arms, and instructions to "return fire". While the White House had insisted that this was the ONLY way, to terminate shool, shooting, spree's, this action LOST any backing that it had, after three more attacks, took even more lives. These lives were lost, in the cross-fire, as students were gunned down, totally by accident, by teachers, who were aiming at shooters. What the White House just could NOT comprehend was that, during shootings, the public reacted, like stampeding cattle. All anyone wanted was to get away from the gun-fire. With so many bodies, rushing for safety, clear shots were impossible. When teachers began taking "best guess" shots, no one was certain of who shot, and killed, members of the student council, rotary club, or the two, track, stars, who were part, of the stampede. While the police were bagging bodies, the White House was proclaiming a "victory", since the shooters were killed, during the stampede, as well. (The parents, of the dead, were the opposite of this. All parents, and families, saw, were corpses, being bagged, for the morgue.) It was during this time when Valerie, in-advertently, became an advocate, for my own plan, regarding school violence. Valerie never intended, nor set up meetings, to talk to people, but she did discuss my alternative, to schools, being used as shooting ranges. Valerie was just thankful that, once she told me that parents were terrified of more stampede carnage (Even as teachers, at three schools, turned in fire-arms, telling administrators "I am a TEACHER. I am NOT a gun-fighter. I WONT be responsible for shooting students.") that I provided her with a clear, and simple, set of notes, on my proposal, for bringing a complete end, to school violence. When parents asked Valerie "Do you, REALLY, think it will work?" Valerie would, only, say "Remember. Soldiers are professionally trained, tested, and disciplined, in the proper use of fire arms. If anyone can reduce the numbers, of the dead, the army, and marine corps are the best we have." Just one problem, that Valerie did not count on. That was the fact that, once rumor spread, that we were a "couple", Valerie learned the COST, of loving an aspiring man. The way I differed, from her boyfriend, was how I handled our interrupted times. With him, it was nothing more than telling Valerie "I am going out, tonight. I should be back, by tomorrow." Valerie knew that this meant that he, and his friends, were going bar-hopping, and skirt-chasing. By contrast, most of the time, Valerie began taking my calls, and marking the calendar, days, even weeks, ahead of time, when groups wanted me to address them. Yes, Valerie knew where I was, and what I was doing, when I was not sleeping by her side. Her mother was harder to convince. This is why Valerie had her brother tune into the local, public access channel, to watch me give a talk, on using the military to bring an end to school violence. When audience members would ask "How can you be so sure that the military would do a better job?" All I would suggest was "Who would be stupid enough to take on a trained soldier?" While I was encouraging rational thought, on the subject, the White House was throwing ANOTHER tantrum, and even threatening to FIRE teachers, who rejected fire-arms, in schools. This, while churches, and families, were busy burying the dead. Dead, which included three cheerleaders, four football players, two student council members, and a student, whose grades had qualified them for a national scholarship, in a program, which would have opened all kinds of "doors", to the future. All, now, lay in coffins, their souls off to meet the divine, years, even DECADES ahead of schedule. The second time I ended up in the national "spotlight" was right about the time when the White House was issuing an "Executive Order", demanding that any teacher, who refused to carry a fire-arm, be fired. Problem was that the teachers union had gotten wind of this, coming, order and rallied teachers into a nation-wide strike. (This is when Valerie kissed me, then whispered "You're up. Lets see what happens".) To the outright FURY, of the White House, teachers, parents, and students, banded together, to support my proposal. As soon as the White House declared "I REFUSE to send troops into schools. I INSIST that MORE guns, in schools, will, EVENTUALLY, lead to safer schools." In a move no one hoped to regret, congress vetoed the White House, and approved the deployments. Soon, soldiers, in full, combat, gear, began appearing, on school grounds, and the students main reply was "Holy..." While some school administrators protested, claiming that they had "control" of their schools, it took only three fire-fights, each of which lasted less then two minutes, for soldiers to dis-arm attackers, to prove this to be a fantasy. With soldiers appearring, just abut everywhere, even school bullies had to re-think attack plans. HOW could these students terrorize victims, with soldiers walking halls, as well as the property? While one bully thought that just dragging a victim off of school property, was enough to allow the bully to act, what the bully did not understand is that this, entire, nation is the jurisdiction, of soldiers. Once faced with four M-16 rifles, the bully released their intended victim and accepted the handcuffs. In another case, it is reported that, when a "plain" girl had tried out, for cheerleading, the "princesses", on the squad decided to make sure the girl felt as un-wanted as possible. The cheerleaders made only one mistake. They forgot to check for soldiers, on patrol. When the victim was released, and the cheerleaders were marched into the command center, the cheerleaders maintained that they had the RIGHT, to make students feel "worthless". They claimed it was their DUTY. The military had not agreed. Nor had the judge, who charged the cheerleaders, as adults, sentencing the young girls to six months, in a reformatory. (Now, the cheerleaders had records, which would haunt them, for the rest of their lives.) While the bullies families were very UN-happy, with the new security, once school violence dropped out of the news (no more bullies, and students just studying for class), the bullies, and their backers had "faded, into the wood-work". While Valerie would have hoped that these, two, victories would be the highlight of my life, it was not long before I was being sought, again. It would turn out to be no ones surprise when, after the defeats, of the Berlin Wall, and school security, that the White House not only threw yet another tantrum, but the occupant vacated the premises, and returned to their own properties. Congress was told to handle the nations business, on its own. While Valerie had not been surprised, when she had been invited to the national stroll, down Pennsylvania Avenue, when a democrat won the next presidential election, by a "land-slide", what had annoyed her was when she had to inform the party that we were NOT, in fact, married. Soon after this, Valerie made me an offer. Permanent bedroom priviledges, in return for a wedding ring, and children. The way she said it was like "I want us to be OFFICIAL." When I declined this, reminding her that we were friends, and that she DID have a REAL boyfriend (whenever he chose to be around), she told me to take all that I wanted, on this visit. I would not be returning to her bed, again. On the plus side, I heard that, while her boyfriend refused to marry her, he did give her some children. Valerie spent the rest of her life trying to convince herself that she had done RIGHT. Maybe she had no ring, but atleast she had children. As near as I was able to learn, not one, of the men, whom the ladies preferred to me, turned out to be much of anything. The men had drunk themselves into early graves. Most had no markers, nor did they leave much behind. A few welfare mothers, and children the men could not care, less, about. Valerie might have ended up, like this, herself, except for the fact that, regardless of marriage papers, congress, and other groups, KNEW that Valerie could influence me. She was as close to me as any wife could be. This is why, when a corporation needed a "loss-leader", into which to dump excess cash, which they did not want to pay taxes on, Valerie had presented an idea, to me. It would seem that the property, where we had "met", had been turned over to some, un-identified, trust. In fact, the same fund, where dozens, of other properties, had been dumped, by people who wanted no liability. The idea, to turn the property into a "hide-away", for lovers, was Valeries. While, to the outside world, the place looked like any other apartment complex, it was the INTERIOR which drew people in. While Valerie and I continued to have some great times, her regret was that she never bore my children. True, I had lead the way in turning Moonbase: Alpha into a reality, but more as a stop-over, on the way to Mars, and other planets. I had "lead the charge", towards the development of Warp Drive, and Sub-Space radio. Valerie had thought it hilarious, when the media, accidentally, referred to her as my "wife". When Valerie asked her mother, father, and myself, what we thought of this, she received the same answer. Niether Valerie, nor her parents, nor myself, could be blamed for what people CHOSE to believe. We would correct people if they ASKED. If they didn't, the fault was theirs. While I, eventually, escorted Valerie to her mans funeral, the turn-out was about what we expected. The minister, Valerie, and myself. Since the mans children did not know him, they did not attend. The service was very short, indeed. Just a recap of the mans childhood, and high school years. The rest of his life was a blank. The state-financed service was as cheap as cheap could get. The man was a nobody, so no one would miss him. In fact, this is the way most of Valeries friends went. Valerie would escape this fate, because our "connection" gave her power, over various decisions. She even took her mothers advice, on avoiding fights. For Valerie, the most potent "weapon" was to converse with me, on various topics. Clothed, or nude, she knew how to talk to me. This is, no-doubt, why, even though Valerie was low-income, herself, she became enough, of a regular, at country clubs, and luncheons, that staff no-longer questioned her, after a few visits. Just like her father, who had retired from one of the last of the manufacturing jobs, in America, Valerie was becoming quite the debutant. By the time I perished, while overseeing the start-up, of one of Earths first, Martian, colonies, Valerie had become the go-to girl, for gaining my support, on projects. Warp Drive had, finally, made the planets, of the solar system just minutes, of travel, apart, not months. With Sub-Space radio, the announcement, of my demise, would reach Earth, in minutes. Valeries only regret, as she went into solitude, for her remaining years, was of the fact that she had not given me any children. Sure, she had a good life, and had been amazed at the turn-out, for my funeral, but she did wish that she had given me a family. Ah, the REGRETS, of life.