THE LAUGH OF ALL LAUGHS

THE LAUGH OF ALL LAUGHS After having three, of my bicycles, stolen, in less than one week, (and local police refusing to take a theft report) I would purchase my fourth, and final, bicycle. While my neighbor, and myself, shared a bit of a joke, about how long I would own this bicycle, the REAL laugh would come when, just a few nights later, some thieves would try to steal the new bicycle. Since my neighbor allowed me to lock my newest bicycle, to his place, even my neighbor was not prepared for what would happen, well after midnight, one, fall, evening. When a group, of drug addicts, spotted my bicycle, on my neighbors porch, all, except one, of the thieves, changed their minds, when they saw my tow-cable security cable, along with its reinforced lock. Atleast one, of the thieves, hung around, just long enough, to shine a flashlight on the bicycle, then decided that the bicycle was not worth the effort, when they saw how my bicycle parts were engraved. Still, undeterred, the head, of the thieves, grabbed a jagged rock, from the ground, around my neighbors place, and began beating the bicycle lock, on my tow cable. This, even as the other thieves decided to try for an easier target. From what my neighbor told me, when he was awakened, by the banging sounds, and told the thief "Get LOST! Or I am calling the police". The thief, reportedly used very profane language, telling my neighbor "Go ahead. I am NOT leaving, without this bike". Even after my neighbor had called the local police, my neighbor heard the thief repeat "I am NOT leaving, without this thing". From what my neighbor, and the police, told me, it seems that the thief did not stop trying to break my lock, until police cruisers were within sight. Only as police surrounded the property, did the thief jump the railing, on my neighbors porch, and make a short dash, before being shot, by police. My neighbor verified that the police had called, to the thief "Stop, or I will shoot". Two houses away, was as far as the thief ran, before police put a bullet in his leg. When the thief went down, police hand-cuffed the thief, prior to calling for an ambulance. For myself, the hardest part, of being pulled roused, from a deep sleep, in the dead of night, was having to try to focus enough to file the "Attempted Theft" report. Since I was only half-awake, when asked to identify my property, it seemed more like a dream, when I filled out the report. Then, came the exposure. Turns out, the thief had a criminal record, so long, and for everything from Theft, to Drug Use, that his arrest record was, almost, endless. Turns out, the reason why the thief thought my bicycle would be "easy pickings" was because this thief was the same person who had, just recently, stolen my previous bicycles, barely a month before. While I was happy to hear that the thief was being held, without bail, then came the biggest LAUGH, of my life. It seems that, while the thiefs family had, long ago, dis-owned the thief, the family was willing to come to the thiefs aid, to aid in avoiding prison. Reason: The last time the thief was in prison, it was his "second strike". If he returned to prison, this time, it would be Life, without parole. "Three strikes and you're OUT, permanently." To try to avoid this, the thiefs family got an idea, while researching myself, on-line. When the family learned what kind, of WOMAN, that I preferred, the thief's family contacted an attorney, who verified tht it COULD be done, provided I cooperated. This is when the thiefs sister made a decision. While the woman, in NO WAY, approved of the thiefs actions, or lifestyle, she was willing to "Take one, for the family". As a result, when I arranged to meet this BEAUTIFUL woman, in a local park, for what I was lead to believe was to be a "first date", I thought, for a few moments, that I had "Gone to Heaven". That is, until I realized WHO she was, and the REASON, behind her "offer". When she suggested "You can have ALL that you want, IF you just drop the charges". This is when, secretly, I had the laugh, of all laughs, at what this woman was willing to do, for family. I left her speechless, when I whispered, to her "You are such a beautiful woman. That is why I wont treat you like a cheap whore". With this, I kissed her hand, and whispered "Sorry, my love. The charges stand". When I saw the expression, on her face, I felt less than an inch tall, even as I walked away from her. When the thiefs court date came up, I was happy that I had not "used" his sister. She deserved better. As for the thief, they showed no respect, at all, for the court, and the judge found it verry EASY to send the thief away, for life. (I just dont think that the thief should have told the judge to suck his...) The thief was going away, for life, on a conviction, of both "Attempted Theft, of a toy", and "Resisting Arrest". When I noticed the thiefs sister, outside the courtroom, I did all that I could, to make myself "invisible". Still, when I thought about what the thiefs sister was willing to do, for her family, I thought it hilarious that she was so committted to her family. It seems, however, that the theif never made it, to prison. The story is that, while being kept in holding, and awaiting transfer, to prison, another prisoner had joked about a thief being sent to prison, for stealing a "toy". The thief killed the other prisoner, then was, himself, killed, by prisoners, who were awaiting transport. What shocked me, though, was being invited to the thiefs funeral. Why I should be invited, when the theft, of my property, had lead to the persons death, was beyond my understanding. I was just surprised, when the thiefs sister came to me, saying "I want to thank you for the most romantic moment I have had, in awhile. When you told me you would not use me. I want to say "thank you", but I just dont know how". I was SO tempted to say "I KNOW of a way", but, instead, all I said was "If you knew what I am thinking, you would slap my face, for sure". She would smile as she said "Dont be so sure". Then she smiled, and walked away.