THE HAUNTING PAST MYSTERY OF THE GOLD

THE HAUNTING PAST: MYSTERY OF THE GOLD Tami and I had just finished the mystery of the drag racers, and made our final report, to Mr. Brown, when Mr. Brown suggested we take some time to rest. After all, chasing down the drag racers, through history, had been a draining experience, for everyone involved. This is why Tami and I decided to take a walk, in a local park. We agreed that the air, and relaxation, would do us good. What we, never, expected was WHO we would see, inside the park. Namely, the spirit of His Holiness, Pope John Paul, Two. I, of course, did a deep BOW, while Tami gave a slow, deep, curtsey, before the pontiff. It was only AFTER John Paul 2 would place a hand, upon our heads, then say "Rise, my children." that Tami would ask "How may we be of service, to your grace?" To our surprise, John Paul 2 would state "It is I, who have come to serve you." When Tami and I would look at one another, asking "To serve us? Your grace?" The pontiff would say "The Chairman has granted me this opportunity to visit the world of man, and to bring you a word of caution." When Tami would ask "What would that be, your Grace?" The Pontiff would say "You are abut to enter a case, in which all will NOT be as it seems. While the Holy Scriptures instruct us to take things on faith, I caution you to let your deduction skills guide you, as well as your hearts. If you will follow these directions, then the Chairman, and myself, will be by your side, in the coming times." It was right when Tami was just about to ask the pontiff "What case are we about to embark upon?" When John Paul 2 would say "My time, at present, is at an end. The Lord be with you, in this quest", then, as gently as a breeze, the spirit, of Pope John Paul 2, would dissolve. Just moments later, Tami's phone would ring, with Mr. Brown saying "Both of you. In MY office. On the DOUBLE!" Wiith that, our boss cut the line. As fast as possible, Tami and I returned, to the Brown Agency offices, where we were rushed into the conference room, practically at "warp speed". Mr. Brown indicated our silence, as a team "swept" the room, for "bugs". Only after the techs would say "Sir, the room is clean." and the technicians left, followed by agency security guards, would Mr. Brown say "I apologize for all of this however the issue is THAT critical." Before Tami could ask "Whats up, boss?", Mr. Brown would say "The Vatican has called us in, on a matter which could not be more secret if it were the final location, of the Ark of the Covenant." When Tami would say "Go on." Mr. Brown would say "The Vatican has informed our agency that the current pope has been taken hostage. The reason why WE have been called in is not so much our dedication, to client privacy, as much as YOUR unique, skills set." When Tami would ask "Which of our skills sets would those be?" Mr. Brown would say "The fact that the two of you have dealt with MORE, of Earth's, deep, past, than anyone else. Such knowledge will be in-valuable, in this case." When Tami would say "So far, ALL that you have told us is that the pope has been kidnapped. HOW do WE fit into this? Have the kidnapers made any demands, yet?" Mr. Brown would say "As a matter of fact, they HAVE. Thats where you come in." When I would say "Sir, dont keep us in suspense. WHAT is it that the kidnappers want, in return for the pope?" Mr. Brown would hesitate, for a moment, before saying "The kidnappers have ordered the church to "come clean", both about some "City of gold", as well as some, supposed, place, where the living may speak, directly to the dead." Mr. Brown would add "It seems that the kidnappers are of the belief, that the Vatican is holding the secret, not only to vast riches, in gold, but of a way to access Heaven, directly." When Tami would ask "What is our assignment?" Mr. Brown would say "While the Vatican denies the existance, of either the gold, or the "route to Heaven", I have been requested to have you cofirm, or DENY, both of these legends." When I would ask "How soon do we leave?" Mr. Brown would say "As soon as you reach your plane. Remember. We are detectives. We search for facts." A short time later, when Tami and I arrived, at the airport, it seems that speed was considered "of the essence", since, no sooner were we seated, when G.S.2 had launch clearance. It was not until we were airborne that Tami asked me "Do you believe that stuff, about "talking, directly, with the dead, and a "city of gold?"" I would suggest "It does not matter what I believe. What matters is what the kidnappers believe. That, and I have to wonder. With the Swiss Guards, AND the Vatican police, watching over His Holiness, HOW could anyone have kidnapped the pope anyway?" While Tami would admit to a vague "memory", of the Reverend Jim Jones, and the Jonestown, Guyanna suicide cult, we, BOTH, remembered David Koresh, and his Branch Dividians. When Tami had asked me "Do people REALLY hold such psychotic beliefs?" I would remind my partner, of a video I had, once viewed, about conspiracies. A video in which, in one segment, it is claimed that one man was so obsessed, with the occult, that he purchased a piece, of Texas land. All because the man believed that, if he dived, into a pond, located on the property, he could swim right into Hades. When Tami would ask "Who would want to swim, into Hades?", I would counter with "Why did the Reverend Jim Jones have his followers practice suicide drills? Why was David Koresh so obsessed with some "Seventh Seal", of the book of Revelations?" By the time G.S.2 approached Italy, Tami and I had scoured hundreds of legends, of "cities of gold", as well as places, where the living speak to the dead. It would not, however, be until we landed, and were escorted, to the Papal Offices, that Tami and I were shown a video, of the pope. The "good" news was: The man was alive. The "bad" news: The man was being tortured, by his captors. In fact, one might say that the pope was receiving an "enhanced interrogation". The Great Elector would be present, in the Vatican, saying "No question. These people are rank amateurs." When Tami would ask "HOW do you know?" The Great Elector would say "Listen to their voices. They are trying to keep their Italian accents OUT of their voices. A terrible job, as well." When Tami would ask "Just HOW DID they get hold of the pope, to begin with?" A cardinal would say "His Holiness stepped into the Men's Room. The Swiss Guard "swept" the room, before His Holiness entered, then the Swiss Guard stood watch, outside the door, while the Vatican police watched the hatch, outside the building. We remain "in the dark" over HOW His Holiness could have been taken." When Tami would ask "Beyond the demands, have the kidnappers set a time frame?" The Great Elector would say "This is what stymies us. It seems that this "city of gold", and this place, regarding "speaking to the dead", seem more important than deadlines." When I would ask "How soon before the church declares the pope no-longer in power, and Conclave meets, to choose another pontiff?" A cardinal would inform me "As long as we have this proof, that His Holiness lives, Conclave will not be necessary." After meeting, with the cardinals, and departing the Vatican, Tami would ask me "WHY are these people so focused on this "place, where the living may speak to the dead?" I would suggest "They MAY think that the Vatican is hiding something. Something, which they WANT the public to know about." Tami would ask "Speaking with the dead? WE do that all the time." I would suggest "Remember the legend of the book, referred to as "The Witches Hammer"? Remember how many women were tortured, and executed, when the church FELT that the women had more power than the church?" Tami would ask "Your are not suggesting?" I would say "I THINK we MAY be dealing with people, who want to re-write human history. They MAY even think that speaking with spirits will direct them on their quest." While continuing on our stroll, and trying to comprehend how the concepts, of a "city of gold", and a "place, where the living speak with the dead", could combine, into a location, where the missing pope could be held, the one thing I will give the Vatican great praise for was its ability, to cover its "tracks". Desite the lack of security, on the internet, combined with the fact that the video, of the pope, was being sent via e-mail, Vatican staff did a marvelous job, of "covering" for the pope. While a rumor was being spread, that the pope was not being seen, in public, due to an illness, the Vatican police did an excellent job, of creating a FAKE video. One which appearred similar to the kidnappers video yet whose quality left much to be desired. This way, if anyone saw the "real" video, it would be assumed that it was nothing more than another fake. The problem Tami and I were left with, was researching tens of thousands, of legends. Legends of "cities, of gold". Legends of places, where the "living converse with the dead". Legends which tied the two, together. Since the college of cardinals was one of the last, remaining, places, on Earth, where women are NOT permitted, under any circumstances, I would be the one to report our slow progress, to the cardinals. What both Tami and I, noticed, however, was just how many cardinals were baffled, by the idea that the Vatican would "hide" information, pertaining to a "city of gold". As a few cardinals would inform Tami and I "IF we did have access, to such wealth, imagine how much GOOD we could do. How many souls we could give comfort to." I really think, however, that the reason why Tami and I had a "visitor", in the Vatican archives, was because Tami had thought that "Maybe, if we look at the art section, we can find some clues. Maybe someone made a model, of the "city", or this "place, of the dead"." We were just on our way, to review the art section, of the archives, when John Paul 2 would appear, again, this time informing us "My children, while you show wisdom, in seeking the past, might I re-direct your inquiries towards another section, of the archives." When Tami would inform the spirit "Holy Father, YOU are the expert, on this place. We will follow your lead." When the popes spirit would say "Bless you, my child", the spirit pope would lead us AWAY from the more modern sections, of the archives, and to a section, which appearred to originate from back in the days before the Vatican was a walled in city. Leading us into dust, dirt, and web-filled spaces, the pontiff would say "In this area rest those records, which the cardinals have not visited, in many centuries. Be gentle with Vatican property. These records cannot be replaced." When I would be foolish enough to ask "Holy Father, with so many volumes to digest, would your holiness be willing to POINT us in the right direction?" When John Paul 2 would wave his "hand" about a shelf, it might seem like magic, but seven, thick, volumes, floated from shelves, and rested on a table, before us. When Tami and I would say "Thank You, holy father." John Paul 2 would bow, then whisper "Neither I, nor the lord, will be far. Call upon us, at any time." When I looked at Tami, she would say "May be one of the "perks", of working for the Vatican. Spiritual help, practically on speed-dial." While the aid, and assistance, of the late pope did "narrow down" our search parameters, the problem was that the search was only narrowed, from 250,000 years, down to 1,000. A time when atleast two civilizations rose, prospered, and fell. Two civilizations, which made regular use, of gold, and both of whom had places, which they referred to as "places of communion, with the deceased". When Tami would ask me "How many, different places have WE spoken, with spirits, in, so far?" I would list "lets see. Castles. Pyramids, private homes, stadiums, ships, trains, skyscrapers. Any I have left out?" Tami would suggest "No, I think you have covered them, all. What baffles me is WHY the kidnappers think they must find ONE place, to "talk to the dead." When I would suggest "What of this "city of gold?" Could it, like the "Fountain of Youth" be nothing more than a metaphor?" Tami would add "In the first place, WHAT made the kidnappers think that the Vatican knows anything? Did a previous pope publish something?" I would suggest "Maybe a thesis? Maybe a paper, questioning whether material wealth was as important as eternal salvation?" It would be almost no time, at all, before Tami and I filled a flash drive, with DOZENS of possible variations, both of the definition, of a "city of gold", and the "place where the living speak to the dead". When Tami and I presented our questions, to the members of the College of Cardinals, atleast a dozen cardinals would admit that, in their homelands, there were rumors, both of golden cities, and places, where the dead, supposedly, speak to the living. In fact, when Tami brought forth a map, of the Earth, asking each cardinal "Please mark each location, where a rumor has been reported." While some cardinals marked various locations, it would seem that, while alive, John Paul 2 had visited several of these. According to Papal reports, the pope never found anything more than ruins. This is when a cardinal, from South America, would recall "Remember the time when His Holiness took the Swiss Guard, on a walk, to discover the source of a rumor?" When an African Cardinal would suggest "Did not His Holiness have some problems, with that adventure?" The South American would say "Yes, now I remember. His Holiness was told a story, about an alien space port. He wanted to learn, for himself, if the rumors were true." When the African would ask "Did some Swiss Guards fail to return, with the pontiff?" The South American would say "Yes, the advanced scout." The cardinals would explain that, just as the secret service proceeds the president, in all situations, so the Swiss Guard proceeds the pontiff. When Tami would ask "What happened, to the Swiss Guard?" The South American would say "An ancient trap. The legend said that ONLY the ENLIGHTENED might venture into the space port." When I would ask "Did the soldiers survive?" The cardinals would say "No, my son. The Swiss Guards, who lead the way, were impalled on some extremely sharp spears." When Tami would ask "What did the pope, eventually, find?" The South American would say "His Holiness reported finding nothing more than weeds, jungle, and broken pieces of marble." While we were discussing this, the Italian police would report "The criminals have been very careful. While they speak, with definite, Italian, accents, we have learned only that the video might have been sent from anywhere." Whhen Tami would ask "You mean, anywhere, in Italy?" The police would say "No. We mean, anywhere, in the WORLD." When Tami would ask the Great Elector "Your Emmence, you stated, earlier, that the kidnappers were doing a terrible job, of hiding their Italian accents." When the cardinal would say "Yes, I do remember saying that. Why do you ask?" I would suggest "Is there any, other, way, for a person to leave Italy? Maybe an UN-official way?" When a Russian cardinal would ask "HOW would a kidnapper sneak the pope out of Italy?" When I would suggest "Are there ANY otherr men, in Italy, who bear the same, general, resemblance, to the pope?" A German cardinal would state "The Vatican is "keeping tabs", on seven men, who bear a strong resemblance, to His Holiness. You should relax, however, since I have just completed a treacking estimate. All seven men are accounted for." When Tami would suggest "That is fine, however, has anyone reported, seeing the pope, maybe boarding a ship, or plane?" The German cardinal would say "If His Holiness boarded ANY transport, the Vatican would have been notified. After all, the pontiff's clothing is very hard to forget." This is when I would clarify the problem. "While, yes, it may be true, that no one viewed a man, dressed in Papal robes, who says the pope was dressed as the pope?" When the Great Elector would ask "What are you suggesting?" Tami would suggest "While WE continue searching for this "city", and this "conference pplace", we recommend that all units be on the look-out for any man RESEMBLING the pontiff." I would add "If we are correct, the pope is, well, outside of Italy." This left the question of HOW to alert law enforcement to search for the pontiff, but without notifyiing the media, as well. When Tami and I returned to the archives, to continue our search, John Paul 2 would pay us another visit. This time, the message was to be "My children, while you are displaying great resourcefulness, in pursuing this matter, I am only allowed to bring you this clue. Seek the shepherd among the angels." While even Tami and I knew what the "shepherd" reference was, Tami's question, to the spirit was "Which "angels" do we seek?" After all, to some humans, the "Angels" are a professional baseball team. To other people, angels are winged beings. To others, animals, such as birds, might be considered angels. Some, primitive societies consider the airplane to be an angel." When various members, of the college, of cardinals, would begin discussing this, among themselves, the college seemed divided, over what action to take. That is, until the next video arrived, via email. In this video, however, the pope was not being beaten. Instead, while a voice, making a terrible "masking", of an Italian accent, would speak, while the video showed what APPEARRED to be His Holiness having a thumb removed. After the Italian voice would say "This is proof, of our determination, to locate the sacred center, for "communications with the deceased". If the Vatican does not "come clean", soon, your precious pontiiff will lose other body parts." After the video ended, Tami requested some print out, of various parts. She HOPED she was wrong, but she wanted to "cover her bases". It would seem that the sight, of seeing an innocent person suffering, which lead several cardinals to challenge church doctrine, asking "What can WE do, to help?" Tami would state "First things first. I need someone, who knows the pontiff, well enough, to know things, which no one else would know. When German, Swiss, and even English, cardinals, would come forth, saying "I suppose WE were the closest, to the pontiff." Tami would suggest, to the video, internet/ controller "I need as much detail, as you can get, from these images." When asked "WHY? We know it is the pontiff." Tami would say "Humor me." While five cardinals would agree to wait for the images, ten more cardinals would join Tami, and I, as we returned to our research. For some reason neither Tami, nor I, could understand, when the living cardinals caught site, of John Paul 2, the cardinals gasped, then asked "What heresey is this?"" Since neither Tami, nor I, speak Latin, we can only guess what the spirit told the living cardinals. All that we knew was that, after John Paul 2 spoke, with the cardinals, the men seemed much more willing, to aid our efforts. In order to make the task easier, for the aging men, and to preserve the old records, Tami and I had been digitally scanning the records. This way, we could review them, at our leasure. Now, however, thanks to digital technology, the whole Vatican could review the same page, at the same time. This, since Tami had, simply requested some e-Readers, from headquarters (in case we needed translation assistance.) The problem was with the translations. It would seem that, during life, Pope John Paul 2 had been correct, to visit many places, where legend abounded. Maybe 75% of the places,, whiich the pontiiff had visitted, whhere places,, rumored to have been places, too "speak wiithh the dead". What John Paul 2 had discoverred, in his travels, were sites, whichh had been looted, over thhe past three hundrred years. "Any gold, or other treasure, which had been present, has, long-since, been removed." In follow up notes, the pontiff would state "While my escort, and I, have travelled to a multitude, of places, where the living are alledged to commune, with the dead, ALL that we have found is altar rooms." As for the cardinals, they had slightly better luck than we were. It would seem that age HAD produced wisdom, in these men. Between history, and memory, the cardinals ad reduced the number, of possible sites, by 75%. The other twenty-five percent were places where the pontiiff was not permitted to investigate. The reasons ranged everything from "death omens", to un-safe construction. It would not be until another video arrived. This one, showing the kidnappers removing one of the popes fingers. Tami began to wonder if, to safe-guard the pope, the Brown Agency should offer a ransom, for the safe return, of the pontiff. That is, until a cardinal found something, in the video. Something, which ONLY Vatican, medical, staff, and the popes closest associates knew about. It would seem that, while working on a home-construction site (As a show, of unity, between Catholics, and another religion, the pope had sliced his hand, on an un-treated piece of wood.) The scar would be neither deep, nor threatening, but it WOULD leave a scar behind. Most of the cardinals would, never, notice the scar, unless they shook hands, with the pontiff. In an enlargement, of the video, several photographs, clearly showed the HAND, yet NONE showed the scar. When Tami asked "Plastic appliance?" The Great Elector would suggest "His Holiness holds that the church shall be "open", and "transparent", to the flock. IF that were the pontiff's hand, the scar would be visible." Tami would, later that day, report to Mr. Brown "Although the popes whereabouts remain unknown,the kidnappers have made some terrible errors. Errorrs, which ANY ameteur would make. The college, of cardinals, however has requested that we continue our search, for the places the kidnappers want us to find." Not sure WHAT we will find, but, now, it seems that we have "won over" atleast a dozen cardinals, who are aiding the search. If either the "city of gold", or the "place, where the living may speak, directly, to the dead", actually exist, we should know, soon. Over the next two weeks, a number, of events occurred. The first was that the man, who had been "playing" the pope, in the kidnap videos, must have died, after his fingers were cut off, then his toes. This seemed logical since, one moment, the man was screaming, in pain, and, the next moment, the man went silent, and fell over, as though fainting. The fools, who were making the "enhanced interrogation" video, were stupid enough to leave the camera on, until after some person (maybe a medic) examined the body, saying "He's dead". Only then did another man look at the camera, asking "We are not live, are we?" When a voice, off-camera, would say "Yes, sir. Still recording." The man, who asked the question, then shot the camera operator, then ordered "turn it off." At the Vatican, no one spoke, as the picture went dark. It would be maybe two minutes, of silence, before the Great Elector would look at the Swiss Guard, saying "FIND THEM!" The ONLY thing, that both the Vatican, the Italian police, and the Brown Agency, had going, for us, was that, the Italians had the foresight to plan for such "events". The Italian man, who had been aiding the police, by "pretending" to be the pope, had, already filmed a murder scene. The Italian police had even been intelligent enough to add a threatening message, to the fake video. "We have kidnapped, tortured, and executed, your precious pope. If our demands continue NOT to be met, once Conclave chooses a new Holy Father, We WILL repeat this process, until the Vatican gives us what we want." Personally, if the decision were mine, I would have awarded the Italians atleast three Oscar's, for their video. It was so real, and life-like. It seems that the fake video even beat the real video, to the internet, since the Papal Offices received what must have been a very offensive e-mail. Problem was, it was written in the Latin language of Italy. When the Great Elector translated the message, to English, the cardinal would, when asked, say "The only words I have not translated, are the profanities. My son, you would not believe how much, of this message, is nothing but profanity." When Tami would suggest "That MIGHT be their next mistake." When the Great Elector would ask "How do you mean, my child?" Tami would suggest "What does the Roman-Catholic church say about the use, of profanity?" The Great Elector would say "While none of us is perfect, the church teaches that such matters shall be private, and with great restraint." When Tami would say "Precisely. You say this message is filled with profanity. What good, Roman-Catholic would use such language, in an "open forum", such as the internet?" The South American cardinal would say "Not even in the villages, which I represent, would such language be used, in public." Tami would say "Precisely." Then add "Your Emminence" indicating the Great Elector "I THINK that these kidnappers are American." When the German cardinal would ask "My child, what do you base that conclusion upon?" Tami would say "To my knowledge, America is the ONLY nation, in the world, where such profanity is part of everyday life. Far too often, Americans, especially those, of low, to no education, use profanity, as we use regular English. Add in the fact that the people seem to make a terrible job, of hiding their accents, and I believe that we are dealing NOT with European radicals, but with a set-up job." When the South American would ask "You are not considering..." I would ask the Cardinal "Why not, your Emminence? This would not be the first time such an event has been staged." When the German would ask "But, to what purpose?" I would propose "Remember those so called "Weapons of Mass Destruction"? Remember how much effort went into "creating" the "evidence"?" When an Italian cardinal would suggest "Even if the United States DID try to kidnap the pope, we have their bases covered, just as they have ours covered." Tami would suggest "Unless a civilian, or, perhaps, a private, airfield, were used." It was while Tami and I, again, returned to the research, that another event happened. While no one would ADMIT to having SEEN the body being dumped, into a major river, once the Papal robes were recognized, it seems that dozens, of locals flocked to aid the fallen pope. What astonished the locals was that, without his make-up, the man did not look very much like the pope. While the lack of fingers, and toes, meant that the M.E. would be required to use dental records, for identification, it would, eventually, be verified that the body was of a would-be actor. By the time the man was identified, Tami and I had narrowed the list, of the cities, to five. The German cardinal would observe "that is very odd." When Tami would ask "Your Emminence, how do you mean?" The German would say "If I recall, John Paul 2 had, actually, PLANNED to visit those very places, before his health deteriorated." When Tami and I asked "Why was this?" The German would say "My children, the pontiff received information. Information which claimed that, at one, or MORE, of these sites, were located not only cities, cast in gold, but of massive computers, the likes of which neither Bill Gates, nor Steve Jobs, ever considered. A French cardinal would add "Aye. I, now, recall His Holiness asking ME about information, which, a "source" said, was hidden inside the Louvre." When Tami asked "Did anyone try to verify the information?" The French cardinal would say "Humbly, my daughter, when the pope fell ill, his travels came to an end." When I asked "What about the College of Cardinals? Why did they not follow up?" The Great Elector would suggest "My son, the main duty, of the church, is to administer, to the needy. You will find no "Indiana Jones" types, within these hallowed walls." When Tami would ask "Mind if WE follow up?" The Great Elector would say "Go forth, with God's blessing." It would only be once back on-board G.S.2, that John Paul 2 would appear, to us, again. To our surprise, the pontiff would, first, say "The College, of Cardinals means well. They are, however, correct, that the churches job is to see to the needs of the people." When Tami would ask "Holy Father, while I am certain that our benefactor would permit some jet fuel, to complete this mission, I wonder if you might give us your insight. If you had the choice, of which location, to check, first, which would YOU choose." John Paul 2's first choice would be a community, within Germany. It did not take much of an imagination, to figure out WHY this would make a prime location. After all, it is well-known, that, early, in his feature film production life, Walt Disney had visited Germany. What was laughable was the thought that Walt Disney might have been a "closet" Nazi. This, for a pathetically stupid reason. The TRUTH, behind Walt Disneys trip, to Germany, was entertainment based, not political. The simple fact was that, prior to Mr. Disneys trip, to Germany, American film-makers were, still, using a century old system, for providing audio, for motion pictures. During the early years, of motion picture making, the reel-to-reel was nothing more than the visual part, of movies. This is why, in the "golden age" of cinema, before a movie started, the numbers "5,4,3,2,1,0" would flash on the motion picture screen. This count-down allowed operators time to "sync" up the recording turn-tables, to the movie. Yes, in the "goolden age", even if a projector worked, if the turn-table had problems, films had no sound. It was not until Walt Disney heard stories, that the Germans were applying sound, directly onto 35 mm film, that the movie maker travelled to Germany, to see for himself. Copying the German example, Walt Disney gave movie goers a new movie experience. One in which projectionist only had to start up one device. After this, Walt Disney would embark on bringing stereo sound to movie theaters. As to why John Paul 2 wanted US to travel to Germany, he would say "My children, the Chairman has permitted me to inform you that, prior to World War Two, that the Germans, Americans, Russians, and a few other nations, were working on a project, for creating the most advanced fighter plane, in the world. If you can imagine, planes without propellers. Planes, whose mass would not cause wind drag." When Tami would ask "Holy Father, HOW do motion pictures, and fighter planes, connect with "cities of gold", and "speaking to the dead?" John Paul would remind my partner "This time period was known as the "GOLDEN age", of motion pictures." When I would agree "Metaphorically, I agree. But what about this "Speaking to the dead"? John Paul 2 would suggest "The stories I was told stated that the designers referred, frequently, to the notes, journals, and designs, of those, who came before." Sure, even I would agree that the Germans have, always, been a highly innovative people. But, HOW could we convince the kidnappers that the "gold" which they sought was metaphorical, not real? When John Paul 2's second choice was deep in the forrests, of Europe, We had to unpack my Jeep, for part of the trip. While John Paul 2 DID lead the way, to an ancient settlement, anything, which HAD been there, was gone, millenia ago. When John Paul 2 suggested a trip, to the Amazon rain forrest, and rumors, of a "city of gold", and a "chamber, where the liviing converrse with the dead", our pilots filed ANOTHER flight plan, BACK to South America. On the way, we agreed to to giive the South American cardinal a "lift", both since it was on our way, anyway, but also because the cardinal suggested "I will encourage locals to aid your search, in return for God's blessing." While it was understandable, that the cardinals felt un-comfortable, flying about in what was, essentially, an American bomber, Tami would play "hostess", while promising the cardinals, both those who just visited the plane, and those, who flew, with us, that our gun-turrets were for the planes defense, ONLY. Tami would inform the visiting cardinals "ONLY our U.S. Air Force pilots, have the codes, for manual override. It would be impossible for anyone, to use our weapons, without permission." I think it was two days, after we landed, in South America, that Tami and I knew, as the cardinal did, that we were close to something, special. This, because of th sheer NUMBER, of traps, we encountered. Thankfully, our pilots had agreed to act as extra security, especially for the cardinal. (In private, all four of us had agreed that, if we brought either the cardinals, or the pope, himself, on any trips, that the air force would remain by our side. After all, NONE of us wanted to be the one to inform the Vatican that "Sorry, but your member fell prey to a booby trap".) Based upon the increasingly sophisticated natture, of the traps, we were discovering, our pilots began to presume that we might be heading for an American, Black Ops, camp. The problem was that there was no evidence, of foot-traffic, in front of us. Soon after this "revelation", both the air force retiree's, and the cardinal, would be surprised when the booby traps changed from primitive, jungle, fittings, into blocks of claymores, and mortar launchers. When the cardinal would ask "How is this possible? My flock are farmers, and hunters." Our pilot would, no-sooner, turn a corner, when the man would pull back, asking "How many farmers use block C-4 explosives?" When the cardinal looked puzzled, the pilot said "Thats what I thought." It was, maybe, 100 paces, beyond the C-4, when our pilots would confer on something neither had seen before. Atleast, not beyond the design board. 500 hundred feet ahead of us were weapons, the likes of which were known only in science fiction movies, and television. Our pilot would issue his first order, in several years: "While you are civilians, I am ORDERING you to stay BACK, until my partner, and I determine that the path is safe. Am I understood?" When the cardinal would say "Go, with God, my son". Our pilot would say "Thank you, father." Maybe fifteen minutes later, the pilots would return, saying "Listen, carefully. Step where I step, and not one word, until I give you the sign." As for the reason why we had not just used our hovercraft, the reason was simple. In this section, of the jungle, the vegetation was just too tightly packed, for other than human, and animal, passage. I, also, wont try to describe what KINDS of "weapons" we passed, on our way to our destination. Fact is, I had no idea what kinds of defenses these were. Neither did our pilots, which is why we were using the concept of "Let sleeping dogs lie." While the "city" we found must have been abandoned thousands of years ago, due to the evidence of the jungle growth, it was when the pilots aided the cardinal into three, of the buildings, that the cardinal found what he had, long, suspected. Over the passage, of THOUSANDS of years, the term must have changed, from "City of Treasure", to "City of Gold". This, due to mankinds GREED, for the beautiful substance. As the cardinal was happy to discover, the "treasure" would turn out to be countless books, of all kinds. While the cardinal could read a FEW, of the books, which seemed to be written in very OLD Latin, it seems that most, of the books did not appear to be written, in any language, which Tami and I had encouuntered, to date. When we asked the cardinal about if there was any information, about the living speaking to the dead, the cardinal would say "Patience, my son." While Tami, myself, and our pilots, would spend the next, several, hours, examining what were, obviously, the city's perimeter defenses, it would seem that the cardinal had been keeping busy, as well. When the man came forth, saying "I THINK I know what the kidnappers are referring to. Follow me." Our pilot would call out "Father, wait for us!" Rushing past two "temples", the cardinal would lead the way down some stone steps, through some passages, and past what LOOKED like security shield doors, before leading us into a chamber. "Here", the cardinal would announce "Is the place where the living may speak to the dead". In a manner of speaking, of course." When our co-pilot would ask "Father, what IS this place?" An un-seen vice would say "Intelligent question." When the air force men drew their weapons, saying "Come forward, and identify yourself." An image would appear, before us, saying "Welcome. What data do you seek?" Tami would ask "First of all, WHO are YOU?" The image would say "I am what you would call a hologram. My purpose is to direct your inquiries toward the correct research materials." Our pilot would ask "Does anyone else find it odd that this THING is using modern day terminology?" Our co-piot would add "Not to mention the fact that it is speaking English." The hologram would say "Relax, I have scanned your cerebral vocal cortexes, and chosen the one language, which you share." When our co-pilot would ask "What does all thhat mean?" I would say "In summary, this place has, somehow, done a brain-scan, on us, and chosen the language which we ALL use." When the cardinal would ask "How is this possible? We need massive computers. Machines, which fill whole rooms, for such functions." This is when I would look about the chamber, and suggest "I THINK we are INSIDE such a machine, right now." The hologram would say "Correct. Now, how may I assist your inquiry?" When Tami would take the chance, asking "Where is the location, where the living may speak to the dead?" When the hologram would ask "Please specify subject matter, for proper directions." When Tami would ask "Where, in this place, do we go, to speak with the spirits of the deceased." The hologram would say "With apologies, I have no information on that subject matter." It would be the cardinal would who suggest "Please present general table of contents, for review." The hologram would say "Confirmed. Presenting, in English language." As though watching a science fiction movie, we, humans, would watch as hidden projectors would present, before our eyes, what seemed like flat-screen televisions. The hologram would ask "Just let me know what subject matter you would like to review, when you are ready." To say that this place had the Chritian Bible outpaced, would be an understatement. Based upon menu's, and sub-menu's, we, soon, learned that this place held more, ancient, information, than every, written, religion, on Earth, combined. While the cardinal was busy, trying to understand even a tiny part, of what this place contained, Tami would whisper, to me "I THINK I know why this place is referred to as the place where the living speak with the dead." When I would suggest "I think I know, as well, but give me your best shot." Tami would say "I THINK this place was, at one time, a library. A place, where modern people could go, to READ, about, and learn from, the past. I think that, originally, it was referred to as a place, to review past events. This is where the legend of "speaking with the dead" came from. Just as we can review dead scholars, such as Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, and so on, I think that this place was, at on time, the very same thing." When I would admit "Makes sense, except for one thing." When Tami would ask "Whats that?" I would ask "WHY did it go out of use?" The hologram would answer that, when it re-appearred, saying "After millenia, of regular use, the people seemed to lose interest. Some moved on. Some left. I have spent MANY years, here, all alone." When Tami would ask "Do you remember how MANY years?" The hologram would use a unit, of measure, which was foreign, even to the cardinal. When Tami would ask for another reference point, such as Noah's flood, or the Roman Empire, the hologram would list names, dates, annd places, which even the cardinal had, never, heard of. When Tami would ask "Would you mind if some additional visitors came to view your wonderful library?" The hologram would say "I regret to inform you that you were, only, allowed entrance, since this unit verified that your intent was peaceful. This unit is programmed to defend this facility against any, and all, dangers. Once you depart, others will not be able to locate this facility. Not, atleast, until your race matures beyond the need to kill one another." Later, once we had departed the chamber, and were out, in the open air, I would ask the cardinal "What do you plan to report to the Vatican?" The cardinal would ask "WHAT is there, TO report? An abandoned city, full of books, which no one, alive, can read? A computer, which can read thoughts, and give informative answers? My son, if I reported this, to the Vatican, I would be dismissed, from the college of cardinals." When Tami would ask "What about the pope? Whhat can we tell the kidnappers?" A short time later, back on G.S.2, when the cardinal would contact the Vatican, he would be informed that the pope HAD been recoverred, by "Vatican Forces". No details. Nothing. This is when the cardinal would ask us "On your way, to America, would you drop me at my village." A short while later, another group, of awe-struck villagers, would watch, in amazement, as our plane landed, vertically, the cardinal walked off the plane, then we rose, into the sky, and flew from site. On our way home, the Vatican sent us a "Thank You" message, saying "With your assistance, and by the most merciful grace, of God, this task has been completed. His Holiness sends his thanks." When Tami would ask "I wonder why there is no mention, of the "city", or the "library"?" Pope John Paul 2 would appear, to inform us "My child, the world is not, yet, ready, for such information." When Tami would ask "WHO will decide when the world IS ready?" John Paul 2 would, only, say "When we mature, beyond the need to KILL, for politics, and religion. Only when we learn to live, in peace, and mutual acceptance, will the knowledge be allowed exposure to mankind. At present, mankind remains little more than "children". For now, my children, I want to express my gratitude, for your assistance. In time, the living will come to appreciate you, even as the dead do. In the meanwhile, may God lay his blessings on your travels." Shortly after Tami and I would say "Thank you, Holy father." the pontiff would dissolve. When Tami submitted our final report, on the case, Mr. Brown would say "Dont worry about the details, of the popes rescue. The Vatican will release no information. You have handled the case, well. Maybe a few days off, before the next case?" Tami KNEW that "Devilish" smile, on Mr. Brown's face. The boss had a case, in development. The question would be "WHAT would it be, THIS time?"

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH # 3

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH: THE PLAYGROUND PROBLEM While, for nearly a century, the children, of Clinton Avenue, had grown up playing at a local park. A place, which had been donated, to the city, maybe 150 (+) years ago, and where children, and teens, of ALL ages, could enjoy the heavy duty playground equipment, with slides, swings, monkey bars (jungle gyms?), and teeter-totters, all built out of what was, presumably, considered left over construction debris, from a building. A building which, itself, had been condemned, due to vastly out-of-date lead paint, and so many other issues. Even architect Mike Brady saw the wisdom, in checking everyting, built, of these materials, for toxic chemicals. There was just one problem. After the firm, which employed Mike Brady, was retained to check for any locations, where the toxics might have been put to use, Mike Brady FOUND atleast one location, where lead was found to be at near-toxic levels. Before Mike Brady would issue the bad news, he made certain of his findings. Every reading was triple-checked. Still, the evidence was clear. Every part, of the park, from sliding boards, to swing sets, monkey bars, and so on, were not only coated, in lead paint, but test samples PROVED that the equipment was BUILT of lead pipes. When Mike would inform Carol, and Carol would ask "Where will the children play?" Mike would inform his wife "Its not my decision. There is enough lead, in that park, to poison every child, within 100 miles. I dont like it, any better, than you but the lead MUST be dealt, with, according to the LAW." Even as Carol,and Michael, Brady, were meeting with local parents, to discuss the future, of the park, the towns mayor would make a public announcement. The mayor would be televised, saying "Friends, and Neighbors, I want to promise you that this park, which has served our community, through several generations, will NOT go the way, of the dinosaur. No, in fact, your community has, already sought funding, for replacement playground equipment. The park will remain open, with ONLY the playground being closed, until new, safe, equipment, can be installed. That is your mayors promise, to those, who elected me to office." While as many as 100 people turned out, to watch the old playground being torn out, and the park being levelled, and graded, to increase safety, what no one could have expected was what happened, next. While the mayor held another, news, conference, to announce the re-opening, of the park playground, it was not long before the Brady's, and other families found severe FAULT, with the new playground. When Carol went to investigate the problem, she found that her children were correct. There were, very definite, signs, posted, warning that "Only children, under the age of ten", were allowed to use the playground. When Carol asked Mike, about the age restriction, Mike suggested "Let me talk, to the mayor. Maybe I can find out something. Who knows, maybe the cheap stuff is only until regular use equipment can be installed." When Mike DID speak, to the mayor, however, he was in for some very BAD news. As the mayor would explain, "Mike, we have known one another, for a very long time. You know I would not "snow-job" you, right?" Mike would say "Of course. Thats why I wanted to ask you about the new playground equipment. How soon will the temporary stuff be removed, and replaced, with the same quality, which we had, before?" The mayor would say "Mike, I hate to tell you this, but, the current equipment is ALL that the state, and federal, governments, would allow funding for." When Mike would ask "What do you mean? I thought that the state just approved the construction, of three, brand new, GAMBLING casinoes. If the state can afford more gambling..." The mayor would say "I have been informed that GAMBLING means potential REVENUE. A playground is considered "Not a priority", since a play area does NOT produce revenue". When Mike would ask "What about the frederal government? Washington D.C. has been sending hundreds of billions, of dollars, per year, on the "War on Terror". Surely, they can spare a couple of million, for a proper playground, for our children." The mayor would say "Mike, dont you think I thought of that?" When Mike would ask "Tell me, old friend, What DID Washington D.C. tell you?" The mayor would say "The Office, of Management, and Budget told me that Congress remains convinced that reducing/eleminating taxation, of the super-rich, is far more important, than a safe playground." Mike Brady would say "The same, old, rhetoric. Cut taxes, on the super-rich, NOW, and EVENTUALLY, SOME-day, th super-rich MIGHT, POSSIBLY, consider re-investing in the American economy." The mayor would say "Sorry, Mike, but that is the "bottom line. I even had to BEG a child-welfare group, for the funds, for what is, currently, in place. Without child-welfare funds, there would be nothing, at all." While Mike Brady would shake his old friends hand, saying "I do appreciate your taking the time to meet with me. I will inform my family." The mayor would say "Not at all. We should visit more often." Mike Brady would smile as he said "A wife, six kids, and a housekeeper, keep me VERY busy." At the Brady household, when Mike called a family meeting, Carol would be the first to ask "Are you saying that the government thinks that GAMBLING, and blowing up other nations, is more important than OUR childrens welfare?" Mike would say "Thats about it. That, and further tax-cuts, for the super-rich?" When Greg would ask "Why do the super-rich need tax-cuts? Even our teachers, in school, say that the super-rich control 99.9%, of America's money. What do the super-rich need even MORE money for?" How was Mike Brady to answer that kind of "Common Sense" question. Instead, Mike Brady would issue his family a challenge. "Instead of complaining, about what we DONT have, why not place our efforts, and energy, into finding a positive solution, to the problem." When Peter would ask "Like what? Build the new playground, ourselves?" When Greg would say "Dont be a dufus. We cant afford the construction permits, alone. Let alone the price, of the equipment." Mike would suggest "Peter DOES have a point, Greg. Now, while our family, alone, might not have enough money, for the entire project, what is to prevent us from engaging our neighbors, friends, even your class-mates? When Carol wuld suggest "Like a fund drive?" Mike would say "Exactly. get people involved. Show them how the park has, and will, benefit, the community." When Bobby would say "I hope the new park has a play-station." Greg would say "Bobby, playgrounds are a place to exercise, and relax. Not to play electronic games." Mike would say "thats enough Greg. Now, the question is: How MANY of us are "IN"?" Carol, and the girls, would be first to say "We're in". The boys would follow up, saying "Yeah, us too." As for Mike Brady, he KNEW what his part would be. As part, of the work, of an architect, is to obtain price quotes, for various jobs, Mike Brady, already, knew the prices, of YOUNG childrens playgrounds. This is why Mike Brady did not bother with the normal, childrens, "play-stations". When Mike Brady, instead, visited a sporting goods store, for price quotes, on equipment, designed to withstand anything a teen could "throw at it", Mike was in for "sticker-shock", when he saw the prices. Mike Brady was wondering if he would be paying, for the equipment, OR the brand name. This is why Mike Brady would turn to his creative side. If he could not find reasonable prices, on what he sought, he would do the same thing, for his family, and neighbors, as he did, for his clients. He would "re-purpose" materials, for park use. When Carol hosted a community gathering, on the Brady's property, one of the first questions, which Mike Brady would be faced with was "Since the current playground equipment has a weight limit, of sixty pounds, HOW will this affect your plans?" Mike Brady would make a joke,with his friend, and neighbor, saying "As long as you weigh less than a ton, my plan will accomodate your weight." This met with laughter, all around. It was when Mike laid out the plan, which included using construction piping, as framing, and tow chains, on things, like the swing sets, as well as "re-purposing" other construction materials, friends, and neighbors, all agreed to "think about it." Later, to Mikes surprise, the mayor would approach Mike, at the construction firm, saying "Mike, word, around town, is that you plan a new park, for your neighborhood." When Mike would say "I wouldn't call it "new". Just replacing what was there, before." When the mayor would ask "With SAFER materials, I hope." Mike would say "Trust me. This, new, place will last, for another century." The mayor would say "I HOPE so. I am committing myself to SUPPORTING this project. Dont let me down, okay?" Mike would say "As an architect, you have my word. No shoddy workmanship." Before the mayor would depart, he would suggest "Mike, in case your idea DOES work, WHAT does your family plan to do, with the equipment, which is, already, on-site?" Mike would say "We haven't discussed that, yet." The mayor would say "Good. If your project works, I have an offer, to SELL the current playground equipment to a pre-school center." Mike would, then ask the mayor "Sir, about building permits." The mayor would ask "What about them?" Mike would say "We will be re-placing the old with the new." The mayor would suggest "As far as I know, your plan is simply to update some aging equipment. Unless you plan to BUILD something, like a community center, I dont see where a permit would be needed." When Mike would say "Thank you, sir." The mayor would say "Anytime." While it WAS true, that Mike Brady DID adhere to the basic plan, of the original park, about the only thing he did "differently", was to add on some extra parts. For example: According to some "ancient blue-prints" Mike found, in the Hall of Records, it would seem thatt the reason why the original playground had only twelve swings, two slides, and four teetter-totters, was because there were only eight families, living in what was, at that time, mostly wilderness. What local government had FAILED to do, over the years, since World War Two had ended, was to "upgrade" the park, as more veterans moved in, and started families. The same, tiny, playground, which had been fine, for the use, of a handful of families, had become a "sore-spot", as the community grew, while "leaving the park behind". While Mike Brady, never, had any intention of becoming the "leader" of the renovation, Mike,, successfully, rallied friends, and neighbors, to accept that an ENLARGED park would suit the community, better. Before cutting down any of the tree's, in the park, however, Mike Brady made certain thatt, when the tree's health was examined, that the choice, of examiner, as well as the examination, itself, were public knowledge. As the "ancient" tree's were cut down, Carol performed the job of "tour guide", showing those, who were interested, the health, of the tree's. Carol did not have to say, or do, much, since the gathering watched the sampples being brought down, and the rotted, and hollow, interiors, of the tree trunks "said it all". In fact, it was a good thing that the tree trimmers tied off the tree's, prior to cutting. This because, with atleast three tree's, no-sooner did chain saws go to work, when the vibrations caused the tree's to split, into sections, which fell to the ground. By the time Mike, and Carol, Brady, were asked "WHAT do we replace them with?", Mike would place three proposals, before his neighbors. While the people were deciding upon what kind of "shelter" they wanted, from the elements, Mike found himself not just overseeing the construction, but, it seems, doing so, on payroll. It would seem that the mayor had made a point of informing various, civic-improvement, groups of what the Brady's were doing. As a result, money began being gathered, to aid the construction process, as well as to make architect Mike Brady the OFFICIAL head of the effort. Soon, A-frames, and cross-members, were being assembled, to hold new groups, of swings. Sheet metal was being formed into sliding boards, and a local, demolition, crew even "donated" several tons, of flat iron (Which the crew would have had to PAY, to send to a dump, anyway). Once sliced into strips, sanded smooth, then covered with heat-resistant paint (For those who remember burning "backsides", during hot, summer days, when wooden teeter-totters surfaces got so hot that "bottoms", and legs got burned.), the strips would be turned into eight teeter-totters. When the Brady's neighbors would ask how they could make "special contributions", to the park, Carol Brady had suggested "Why not donate a sitting bench, or part of the picnic shelter?" In fact, the only, REAL, "complaint", about thee whole project, would be when the Brady kids would be informed that, since it was the KIDS, who started the project, it would be the kids, who would be in charge of trash collection, landscaping, and so on. When Peter would say "Thats not fair! Why should WE have to clean up, after everyone else?" Carol would ask "WHO was it who wanted to SAVE the park?" Greg would sigh and say "We get the picture. WE wanted the park, and now WE get to PAY for it." Mike would say "Thats right. Remember. Everything, in life, comes at a PRICE. There are NO "free rides"." When Bobby would add "Except for little kids. They get everything, for free." Carol would correct her son, saying "Parents are responsible for paying for children." While Mike, and Carol, Brady, would have been happy, to let th mayor take all of the credit, for both the effort, and the Grand RE-Opening", of the park, it would seem that Mike, and Carol, Brady, would be called upon to say a few words, in honor of the occassion. Both, of the Brady parents, would agree to give the credit to those who had helped. "Without the combined efforts, of this community, this project would, never, have come about. Thank You, one and all." While the mayor DID sell the playground equipment, to a day care center, no one cared about this. What made the Brady family, their neighbors, and friends, happy was that, as it had been more than a century before, the park was, now, large enough for ALL of the local kids to enjoy themselves. No matter how OLD the kids were, or how heavy the kids might be. THIS playground had NO height, weight, or age, restrictions. Life was back to "normal", for the "Brady Bunch". Atleast until the kids next caper...

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH # 2

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH: It was a warm, sun-lit, afternoon, in the neighborhoood, when Marcia Brady would wander into the family home. It was the kind of day where most high schoolers would be thrilled to be "free" of school, for after-school activities. Both Carol Brady, and Alice Nelson, would be enjoying the day, while going about housekeeping duties, when Marcia would walk in. When Carol would ask Marcia "How was your day, honey?" Marcia would say nothing. When Carol would ask "Didn't the test go well?" Marcia would just walk out of the kitchen, after passing her mother her test results. When Alice would ask "Dont tell me she didin't pass. She was studying, for a whole WEEK." When Carol would pass Alice the school paper, Alice would say "I dont understand. She should be thrilled, with this score." Carrol would say "I dont know what it is, but I think its time I play "Sherlock Holmes". When Carol would join Marcia, in the girls room, Marcia would be staring out the window. When Carol would mention "Marcia, you look like you just lost your best friend. What happened?" Marcia would not answer. This is when Carol would pat her daughter, saying "When you want to talk, I will be downstairs, with Alice." By the time Carol returned to the kitchen, Greg would be coming in, looking as if his favorite pet had been run over. When Alice would mention "I have your football uniform all nice and pressed. All ready for you to get it all muddy, again." Carol, and Alice, would be surprised, when Greg would mention "fine. By the way, Alice would you find me a bag, big enough for the uniform, AND the helmet?" When Carol would mention "I THOUGHT you had a bag, at school, in the team locker room." Greg would say "yeah, right. Alice, find me that bag, would you?" Alice would say "Sure." After Greg slumped towards the dining room, then upstairs, Carol would call Mike, saying "Mike, we have a problem. No, I DONT know what it is. What I DO know is that both Greg, and Marcia, are "in the dumps". A moment later, Carol would tell Mike, "No, it wasn't the test. Marcia got a 97 on the test. This is something else." Carol, and Alice, KNEW something was wrong, when the other four kids came in, all looking like their world had come to an end. When Carol stopped the "caravan", saying "Okay, out with it. Something is going on. I want to know WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY." When Peter would begin, asking "If I knew of someone, who did something, wrong..." Jan would add "Very wrong." Peter would ask "Would it be snitching, or tattling, to tell someone what the person did?" When Carol would ask "Did someone get hurt?" Jan would say "More than that." To which Peter would scold his sister, saying "Shut up. I dont know..." When Carol would ask Jan "What is it that Peter is trying NOT to tell me?" Carol noticed that even Jan hesitated, as she said "There is word, going around school..." Peter would be quick to say "More like a rumor." When Carol realized that ALL of her children were stalling, she said "Alright, just wait until your father gets home." To Carols surprise, Peter would ask "Can we talk to him BFEORE dinner?" When Carol would ask "Is it THAT important?" Peter would say "Its like Mission Impossible important." This is when Carol would call Mike, saying "Mike, something is, definitely, up, yet the kids say its too important, for me. They want you to talk to them, when you get home. Get this, Peter even asked to talk to you BEFORE dinner." When Mike would say "Sounds serious." Carol would say "Peter even referenced Mission Impossible." Mike would say "Now, I KNOW its serious. I will be home, as soon as possible." While Michael Brady would wonder, on the way home, what could be so important that DINNER had to wait, the architect would have NO idea what he would be walking into. Maybe, it was another, school, fight, between Peter, and Bobby Hinton. Maybe, Marcia was caught, with lipstick, again. Maybe Greg used foul language, on a team mate. (Something most players do, when injured.) Michael Brady was prepared for most anything his six kids could "throw at him" (or, so he thought). It would not be until he stopped at the boys room, first, asking "Okay guys, WHAT is so important that FOOD can wait." Greg would ask "Dad, what if I knew of a guy, who did something, really, terrible, yet the school wont do anything about it." When Michael Brady would ask "Did it happen OFF of school property?" Greg would give an "un-fortunately" look, as he said "No, it was, definitely ON school grounds." When Mike Brady would ask "Did one student hurt another student, beyond sports injuries, I mean." Greg would say "Yeah.. You could say that." When Mike would ask "How bad, broken bones, bloody nose, dis-located shoulder?" When Greg would say "If only it were that simple." Mike would say "I am running out of things to guess at. Did a student hit someone?" Greg would say "You can say that." Mike would ask "How bad? Wheelchair bad?" Greg would say "I wish it were that simple." Mike would say "Okay, Gregory, OUT with it. What is it that you are trying NOT to tell me, or your mother?" Greg would say "Dad, what should happen if a student hurts a student, REAL bad, yet the school does not WANT to know about it?" Mike would say "Something happened, at school, yet you are willing to forgo dinner, to try and tell me what is happening." When Greg would say "I am quitting the football team." When Mike would ask "WHY? I thought you loved football." Greg would say "I do. or, atleast I did." When Mike would say "Now, we are getting somewhere. WHAT would make you want to leave the team." Greg would say "I thought they were just a bunch of guys, out for some fun, and sports." When Mike would ask "What changed?" Greg would say "A player did something. Something really bad. I dont want any part, of it." When Mike would say "Come on, it cant be THAT bad. Its not like a player committed murder." When Greg just looked at his elder, Mike would ask "No one murdered anyone, did they?" Greg would say "If it were only that simple." While Alice kept the dinner warm, Carol would wonder WHAT it was that Mike, and the kids were speaking about. What could be more important than dinner? It was not until Mike came down, to dinner, calling up, to the kids "Remember, wash up, before dinner." that Carol would ask "Mike Brady, WHAT is up, with the kids?" Once Mike Explained, Carol lost her appettite, then began calling her friends, in order to find out WHAT the facts were. While neither Mrs. Witherspoon, nor Mrs. Logan, nor Mrs. Longtree, had much more information, it would only be when Carol would telephone the Livingston's, that the situation became more clear. It was when Mrs. Livingston's neighbor would inform Carol "the family is at the hospital, with their daughter, Linda" that Carol would ask "What happned to Linda?" The woman, on the other end, would say "Not over the phone. If you want to know, the family is at the hospital." When Carol told Mike, about this, Mike Brady would announce "Lets find out what this is, REALLY, all about." While both Brady's drove to the hospital, in silence, each parent was "running 1,000 different scenarios" through their minds. It was only at the hospital, that the facts began to come to light. Facts, which both parents had HOPED were not true. From what hospital staff, and the girls parents, could "pump out" of Linda, it would seem that, following a rather successful, practice, game, Linda had thought her boyfriend had wanted a "success" kiss. When she found out what he REALLY wanted, Linda had declined. (Un-fortunately, the boy was not about to take NO for an answer) All that the trauma doctor would say was "it was multiple. No question." The full back, on the football team, had TAKEN what he wanted. Now, Linda would be left to "pick up the pieces". On the way home, Mike Brady would call the school, and arrange a meeting, for the next day. It would, not, however, be until Mike and Carol, returned home, that Greg, and Marcia, would remind their parents of school policy. When Greg would start out "Remember that school policy, which Las Vegas has?" Marcia would add "The one, which deals with assault, by having both parties sign a LAME, No Contact Contract." Carol would remind Mike "I remember hearing something, about that, but isn't that limited to bullying?" Carol was surprised when Greg would say "Boy, mom, are you behind the times". When Mike would ask "Greg, just WHAT does that mean?" Greg would say "You, REALLY, need to get up-to-date, and big time." Marcia would say "Just ask the principal. You wouldn't believe us, if we told you." The next morning, breakfast was so quiet that Alice would remark "You know, for a house, containing nine people, and enough action, to fill any newspaper, I get the feeling that, this morning, I am working in a graveyard." First Mike, then Carol, then the kids, would say "Sorry, Alice. Something else on our minds." Maybe an hour later, Carol, and Mike, Brady, would be in the principals office, hearing what they NEVER thought they would hear a school administrator saying. "Mr. and Mrs. Brady, you have to understand. With everything, which is going on, in schools, today, the school board HAD to take proactive action." When Carol would ask "What KIND of proactive action?" The principal would say "Following in the steps, of Nevada, we have instituted our own form of "sexual harrassment" policy." When Mike would ask "What form would that be?" The principal would say "Mr. Brady, it is all here, outlinned on section 325, sub-section 12, sub-paragraph A, as outlined, under Article 3117. As I will quote, Following any suspected act, of sexual violation, the victim has three hours to report such an attack to school administrators. This, of course, mirrors the sub-section, regarding in-appropriate touch, which must be reported, within one hour." When Carol would ask "You mean to say that, when a girl is...., she is required to come directly to the principals office and tell you "By the way, I was just..." The principal would say "Mrs. Brady, if you WONT SAY the word, then reporting would be useless. The victim MUST come forward, right after the "attack". Other wise, as far as the school is concerned, the "attack" never happened." When Mike would ask "Never happened? There is a girl, lying in a hospital bed, traumatized, by what you say "never happened." All the principal would do was say "While un-fortunate, such things DO happen, in life." When Carol would ask "Such things happen, in life?" The principal would say "Mrs. Brady, the simple fact is that no boy is an angel. Not even your own. Tell, me, WHAT would YOU do, if one of YOUR OWN boys committed this act?" Carol would, no-sooner say "The boy, who did this, would not LIVE to see his next birthday. THAT is my guarantee, about MY boys." Mike would go even further, telling the principal "If one, of OUR boys did something, like this, **I** guarantee the boy would not see the sun-rise, tomorrow." When the principal would say "Fine WORDS, both of you, but I have over 100 students, whose parents may feel differently." Mike Brady's final question, to the principal, would be "By the way, WHY is this the FIRST we are hearing, of this school policy?" The principal would say "Mr. Brady, it is NOT the districts responsibility, to make parents aware of every, single, rule, and regulation. It is YOUR duty, as parents, to ASK us. Now, good day." Later that day, while Carol, and Mike, Brady, would be discussing what could be done, about the attack, on the girl, Greg would come home, beaten, and bloody. When Carol saw her son, and asked "I thought you said you were quitting the team, because of what the full back did. How did this happen?" Greg would inform his mother "When I went to turn in my stuff, the full back asked my reason. When I told him, he made a remark, suggesting that the girl was a slut." When Mike would ask "Okay, what happened." Greg would say "Honest, dad, ALL I wanted to do was turn in my equipment. I never planned any of this." When Mike would ask "WHAT happened?" Greg would say "After the full back insulted my friend, he commented, suggesting that Marcia could be his next "victory". Thats when I taught him about threatening my family." When Carol asked "How did it turn out?" Greg would say "When the coach found us, and pulled us apart, and while the coach insisted upon talking to the full back, first, I just kicked my bag, told the coach I was quitting, and the next thing I know, the coach is telling me that I am suspended." When Carol would ask Greg "How can you be suspended, if you quit the team?" Greg would say "Not suspended, from sports. I am suspended, from SCHOOL." When Mike asked "WHY?" Greg would say "Coach says that **I** attacked, without provocation." When Carol would say "For defending your sister?" Greg would say "Thats right. Now, may I go to my room. I have some thinking to do." Mike would say "Of course. I will have Alice call you, when dinner is ready." No-sooner was Greg heading upstairs when Marcia burst into the house, saying "Gregory Brady, how could you!" When Carol would ask "What is it?" Marcia would say "Its all over school. Greg told the team to leave me, for HIM!" When Carol would ask "Your own brother?" Mike would ask Greg "Whats this all about?" Greg would say "Honest, I told you what happened." When Marcia would ask Greg "WHY?" Greg was just starting to tell Marcia the truth, when Jan came in, saying "Its all around the neighborhood. Greg is making a play, for his own sister." When Greg looked as confused, as his parents, Carol would say "I think its time for me to make some phone calls." Mike would say "You take the kitchen phone, and I will take the den. Its time to find out WHAT is going on, here." By the time Carol, and Mike, verified, a few dozen times over, that it was members, of the football team, who were spreading the incest rumors, that Marcia apologized, to her brother, saying "I should have known that you would never do such a thing." When Greg would say "Dont you forget it." Marcia would add "Besides, I KNOW who you want." This is when Greg would growl "MARCIA!". It would be perhaps a month later, when another girl was "attacked", that things reached a boiling point. This, when Greg, and Marcia, would march home, telling Carol "After Sally was attacked, and reported it, as the school insisted" Marcia would ask her mother "Do you KNOW what the principal did?" When Carol would say "I have no idea. Was the boy punished?" Marcia would say "Not the boy." Then Greg would fill in the gap, saying "The principal ordered an assembly, and, in front of the WHOLE, student, body, ASKED Sally "DID this player RAPE you? I mean, right in front of the whole school! The principal might as well have taken an ad out, in the Wall Street Journal." When Carol would ask "What happened, to Sally?" Marcia would say "She ran from the assembly hall, and away from the school grounds. NO one knows where she is." By this time, Alice was handing Carol her contacts book, saying "I will use the phone, in Mr. Brady's den." Not long after the calls began, Carol would receive a call, saying "Mrs. Brady, if possible, you, and Mr. Brady, are requested to join a special meeting, at the town hall, tonight." When Carol asked "Whats the reason?" The caller would say "To discuss the events, at Westmont High School, today." Carol would say "Mr. Brady and I will, denifitely, be there." After this, Carol would call Mike, who would, then, tell his boss "Family crisis. I have to leave, early, today." That evening, at the town hall, the principal would face a very hostile audience, for his actions, that afternoon. While the administrator would plead "You have it all wrong. I was TRYING to make the student admit to what happened, so that the boy could be, PUBLICLY, disciplined." When Mrs. Livingston would ask "By parading the girl, before the entire student body, like some FREAK, then asking her if a boy attacked her? Like some television FREAK show?" The principal would say "I felt it best, to make a PUBLIC show, NOT to humiliate the girl, but to set an example, for the boys." When Mr. Silverspoon would ask "What KIND of example? That girls could be humiliated OUT of reporting attacks?" The principal would say "Just the opposite. I had hoped to SHAME the BOYS OUT of "attacking" more girls." Mrs. Chester would say "Well, sir, you really BLEW it, didn't you." All the principal would say was "In order for the school to take action, all the girl has to do is return to school, face her attacker, and make the public charge. We can, then, press charges." When Carol would ask "Are you insane? Make the girl stand before the public and say "Yes, he did it!?" The principal would say "Mrs. Brady, this is the ONLY way to put a stop, to such activity. The girl MUST go public. this is school policy." Shortly after this, the Town Hall would empty, as enraged parents would depart, wondering how to protect their daughters, NOT from athletes, and students, but from this "monster", who called himself an administrator. Not only on the drive home, but inside the house, Carol, and Mike, Brady, would continue to ponder the problem. How could schools be so in favor of things like the Nevada No Contact Contract. Were such agreements even "enforceable"? Even architect Mike Brady had no idea how to solve this problem. The next day, and to the schools annoyance, when Sally's body was dragged from the local river, the media made a point of stating the primary reason for the tragedy. The girl had given a note, to a friend, for her parents, asking their forgiveness, for her not being "perfect". She just could not face having to admit to the crime, in a public setting. Even while the principal was preparing a condolence speech, for the girls family, the principals office would be "flooded" with petitions, all of which stated "Either the rules, and the principal, goes, or we remove our daughters, from this school." When the principal would inform the press "This is NOT how this is to be handled." The principal "got the message" when, after his wife received a call, saying that one, of her children, was injured, at a public play area, and that her other children needed her. After the woman was, safely, away from the property, the home was burned to the ground, with effigies, of the principal, staked into the lawn. The principal, FINALLY, "got the message". Un-like Nevavda, however, this principal submitted his resignation, while suggesting a "review" of the school district rule, about "exposing crime". By this time, however, with the girls suicide note, the full back would be arrested and, over his parents objections, would be sentenced to prison. (As an adult). VERY shortly after this, the sports team members, suddenly, became very modest, in their actions. Maybe this had something to do with a team member being imprisoned for the commission of a crime? All anyone knew was that Westdale High School would be banned, from school events, for the next two years. Would Nevada learn a lesson, from this????

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH

THE NEW BRADY BUNCH CHORUS: Here's the story, a lovey lady, who was bringing three strong and healthy boys. A good mother, with no clue about raising boys. Here's the story, A man named Brady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls. A good father, but totally clue-less, about parenting girls. The meeting: Architect Michael Brady meets widow Carol Jenkins, at a single parents support group. During a break, in the meeting, the two discuss parenting. When Carol tells Mike "You have it easy. Three girls are such a joy to raise. I envy you." When Mike would ask "You envy me?" Carol would say "Compared to my three boys, I would rather have three girls to raise." When Mike would say "Oh, come on, Carol. Boys aren't so bad." Carol would say "Is that so? Well, let me tell YOU, Michael Brady, that three boys can be a real handful. Always taking things a part, and the dirt. I swear my boys never heard of staying clean." Mike would say "Carol, if you think thats "rough", try figuring out how high a skirt should go, or what eye-liner goes with what hand-bag." When Carol would say "Thats easy", then try to explain, what even Mikes deceased wife could, never, explain, Mike Brady would find himself making what HE thought was just a joke. Mike Brady would say "I wish you could spend just one day, with my girls. I bet they would run you ragged, before the day is out." Carol Jenkins would respond with "Michael Brady, I will bet YOU that YOU would not survive a full day, with my boys." When Michael Brady would ask "What stakes do you want?" Carol Jenkins would suggest "Two, candle-light dinners. The loser pays." When Michael Brady was about to say "You're on!", then thought about it, asking "How do we determine who wins?" Carol Jenkins would suggest "The first parent, who "bails out", is the loser, and pays for dinner." This is when Michael Brady, almost committs a faux paus, by starting out to embrace, and kiss Carol Jenkins. Remembering the rules, of the meetings, the two would shake hands, on the deal. Later, two conversations would take place, nearly simultaneously. While Mike Brady would be infoming his girls "If none of you have any objection, I have asked my friend, Carol Jenkins to spend the day, with you girls" When his oldest girl, Marcia, would ask "You mean, that lovely woman, from your group?" Mike would say "Thats right. Carol has asked to spend some time, with all three of you." When the girls would say "How cool is that? A woman, to spend time with." Mike would be quick to point out "Now, girls, I want you to remember. Carol is a friend, and I want you to treat her with respect. Dont go running her ragged, just to make her flee. I want you to treat her as you would your own mother. Is that, CLEARLY, understood?" When Jan would say "Sure, dad, we understand. Mind our manners." Mike would say "Okay, then I will let Carol know, and we can set a time, and date." At the home, of Carol Jenkins, much the same conversation would be taking place, with her boys. When Carol would say "Mike is my friend. I want you to treat him as you would, your father. Got me?" The oldest son, Greg, would say "Sure mom." This is when Carol would ask ALL three boys "Do we, ALL agree to treat Mike Brady, with the same respect we would treat our father?" As if in chorus, Greg, Peter, and Bobby, would say "Yes, mom." This is when Carol would tell the boys "Fine, I will let Mike know. Now, remember, boys, Mike is my friend. NO schenanigans. Manners, right?" The boys would say "Yes, mom." On the day, in question, while Mike's daughters might have thought they would have more "latitude", with Carol, the girls would, soon, find themselves facing the "ghost of their mother". This, because, more than once, and whether the subject was G-string bikini's, short skirts, or make-up, the girls would find themselves hearing Carol saying "No daughter, of mine..." While Carol, and the girls, were spending the day, enjoying themselves, with shopping, and fittings, Mike, and the boys, would be tackling a variety of items, including bicycle maintenance, home repairs, to Carols place, and even re-packing some material, to create extra storage space. While the boys "touchdown", of the day, would be some football practice, with Mike, when the brothers looked at one another, saying "I hope mom does not find out what we have been doing." Mike would suggest "If you want to "hide" the truth, better get washed up, before she gets home". That evening, Mikes daughters would compliment Carol, making the suggestion, to their father "She is really COOL. Any chance SHE could become our mother?" Mike would, only, say "We will see." It would only be after Carols boys remarked, in the same, about Mike, that the parents called it "Even." When Mikes girls would suggest "Dad, why dont you give it a try? Whats the worst that can happen?" Mike would remind his girls "You need to remember that what you are suggesting is NOT "temporary". Marriage is NOT like buying a home, or a car. You cant return it, if you find you dont like it. Once you make the purchase, you are STUCK. After the vows, there is NO going back." Carol would find herself telling her boys the same thing. "IF I marry Mike, its for keeps. Once we take the vows, there is NO going back." It would be at THIS point that Mike Brady would consult his long-time housekeeper, Alice Nelson, asking "IF I take this step, HOW do I know it is right, for both me, AND the girls?" All Alice would say was "Mr. Brady, there is only ONE way to answer that question." When Mike would ask "What if I am wrong? What happens to my girls?" Alice would ask "Mr. Brady, are you more afraid that it WONT work, or that it WILL work?" Mike Brady would, simply, look at his long-time housekeeper. Before making any decisions, Mike Brady, and Carol Jenkins, would take their time, reviewing the pro's and cons. Sure, the kids seemed to like the adults, but the question was: What would happpen when three boys lived in the same house, with three girls? Would the result be a "gourmet's delight"? Would it be Botulism/Tomaine? While Architect Mike Brady was ready to, thoroughly, investigate ALL the angles, prior to committing to the project, Carol Jenkins would have to encourage his cooperation, by saying "Mike, there are no guarantee's. The only "sure things" are death, and taxes." THE PROPOSAL: Mike Brady would only express "It is not the honeymoon, which concerns me. It is the long-term. Maintenance. How well we put the foundation together, and how sturdy the construction is. After all, the best intentions, in the world, will not keep a poorly designed building standing." Carol Jenkins would remind Mike "Every home has its problems, over time. Walls have to be painted. Windows need to be washed, grass needs to be mowed. All we can do is the best we can." Mike Brady's only question would be "Are you SURE you WANT the added responsibility, of adding three girls, to your family?" Carol Jenkins would say "Mike, if YOU can handle my three boys, then I CAN handle three daughters." It would be after the proposal that Mike and Carol would start looking at homes, to fit their soon to be expanding family. the parents would agree that the childrens bedrooms would need to be atleast as LARGE, as the master bedroom. With three children, per room, SPACE would be "Priority One". FINDING SPACE, FOR EVERYONE: While Carol Jenkins, and Mike Brady, would split their time, between wedding preparations, and trying to find a house, large enough, to house nine people, in comfort, it would turn out that the wedding preparations were just as much an "assault", on the couple, as their search, for a large enough house. In fact, Michael Brady had forgotten how stressful wedding preparations could be. For every question answered, there were a thousand, other, questions, all of which DEMANDED answers, yesterday. Add in the search, for a house, large enough to house all nine, people, and the best that Mike Brady, and Carol Jenkins, could come up with, was to split the duty in half. While Carol, her mother, and Mikes girls, would work on the wedding details, Mikes father, Mike, and Carols boys, would focus on locating a home, for the "new venture" (As Mike Brady would refer to his expanding family.) While Mike, and the boys, found plenty, of homes, which fit the SIZE needed, the problem was that the homes were derelict. Most had not been occupied, for decades, and with good reason. What concerned architect Mike Brady, was NOT the rumors, that some of the homes were "haunted". Mike Brady's concern was over the fact that, so many, of these homes were built in the days LONG BEFORE construction codes existed. With the aid, and assistance, of some contractors friends, Mike Brady toured several homes, all of which received FAILING grades, from the contractors. The reason why the homes were not occupied, was not due to "ghosts", "goblins", or things that go "BUMP!, in the night". The reason why these homes were un-inhabited, included lead pipes, which, in the 1800's, provided drinking, bathing, and washing, water, to the homes occupants. Then, in every, single, house, every wall, and ceiling, surface, tested, positive, for lead paint. When even Mike Brady saw that the only, real, structure, to the homes, was the stairway, and outer walls, and Mike Brady agreed with the contractors. The cost, of restoration, would be ten TIMES the cost, to build from scratch. Result, the Brady family would move into a modest, three bedrooom, house, complete with maids room. Michael Brady would promise his family "As soon as we can find a bigger, more livable, house, we will leave this one behind". THE WEDDING: While the vows went off, more-or-less, without any problems, with camcorders, and videodisc recording, now, available, when Tiger got loose (presumably after being taunted, by Fluffy), what should have been a solemn occassion, turned into a laugh riot more over the fact of all of the damage, caused by HUMANS, than of any damage, caused by dog, or cat. The girls beautiful, full length, dresses, would be just as caked, with mud, and dirt, as the boys tuxedo's, as the children tried to wrangle the animals out of the way of the wedding. What made the wedding day so memorable was the fact that, while people COULD have gotten either upset, or furious, about how events transpired, even the minister found himself laughing even as the minister told the assembly "This is just the wedding day. Just imagine what is AHEAD, for the Brady family." MOVING IN DAY: While Carol, Mike, and Alice, had decided on a modest, three bedroom, home, the problem would be the day the family moved in. While Bobby, and Peter, had only one carton, of belongings, as well as furniture, to move into the new house, Greg would, ofcourse, have his high school stuff, as well. After moving their belongings into their new room, Mike would assign the boys to carry up the girls cartons, as well. This would not go so well. While the age of the Walkman, and Ipods, would "solve" the problem, of music, Carols boys just could not believe that, no matter how many cartons the boys brought into the house, and delivered, to the girls room, there seemed to be even MORE cartons, waiting for transport. Between this, and the fact that, as Mikes girls un-packed their cartons, closets filled up, in record time, even as the girls searched for more closet space. When the girls decided that they needed some of the boys closet space, for their clothes, this would be when Mike Brady would be required to enter into creative, and collective, bargaining. With his daughters saying "We need more closet space", and the boys saying "You HAVE your closet space, we need ours, as well." Mike Brady THOUGHT he came up, with a solution, but ONLY for a moment. While the architect would suggest that the girls store their remaining cartons, in the attic, Greg would ask "Where do we store the holiday decorations? The Christmas Tree, the pumpkins, and the summer, holiday, stuff?" When Mike Brady would ask "How bad can it be?" Greg, and Peter, would say "Come with us." Sure enough, in the driveway, there were more than a dozen, additional, cartons, waiting for delivery. Peter would say "This is just the girls stuff. The truck had to go back, for the holiday stuff." This is when Mike Brady would make a decision. Calling Carol and the girls, together, Mike Brady would announce "As of this moment, anything, which does not fit into a persons OWN room, is to be stored in the garage." When Marcia would lead the girls in saying "But, dad, this stuff is important." Mike would counter wiith "Then, you should pack it, VERY CAREFULLY, for later retrieval." When the girls gave a huff, Mike Brady would state "Further more, I EXPECT there to be enough room left, in the garage, for the cars. Am I clear?" Everyone, present, would groan. While the Brady family was scratching their heads, over what to do, with their belongings, an unexpected storm would take out the electricity, as well as demolishing the next door neighbors house. While the Brady's were more than willing to lend a hand, with clean-up, the land owner revealled surprising information, to the architect, about the house. When the neighbor informed Mike Brady " We wont be re-building." And Mike asked "WHY?" The neighbor would say "Our mortgage was "under water". The insurance company says the house is not worth replacing. We will look for another house." While Carol would agree "Thats terrible." The neighbor would, no-sooner say "I just hope the bank can find someone, to sell the land to." Mike Brady no-sooner said "I'm sure the property will sell, easily. How much is the bank asking?" The neighbor would say "$10,000. Which is more than I can afford." This is when Carol would call Mike aside, asking "I KNOW we said that money, in the fund, is for the kids college educations, but helping a neighbor. Isn't that equally important?" When Mike and Carol would return to the property owner, Mike would offer his friend, and neighbor, a deal. "If we, ALL, agree to keep this deal between ourselves. NO ONE else is to know, for any reason. Right, Carol?" Carol would ask "Why are you looking at ME, Michael Brady? It was my idea." When the neighbor would ask "What idea?" Mike Brady would suggest "We can give you the money, in exchange for the property. This way, you wont have to deal with the banks, or a realtor." Being an architect, Mike Brady KNEW how to handle lenders. This is why the process went so smoothly. Once Mike Brady verified that even the homes foundation had to be demolished, he drew up a set of plans, which would solve everyones problems. ADDING EXTRA STORAGE: Mike Brady KNEW why the neighbors estimates had come in, at such high levels. If only the neighbor had asked, Mike Brady would have informed the neighbor of the advances in modern building practices. As it was, Mike Brady designed a combination storm shelter, and storage area. All under a surface, of green lawn. A space on which the Brady children could play, and entertain. While the primary design, and build, was for a completely sub-surface until, to be covered with a play area, Mike Brady agreed with his new wife, Carol. With six, growing, children, in the house, times would change, even as the children grew. Even as grade school would be replaced with junior high, then high school, so boys, and girls, play-clothes, would be exchanged for high school gear. All of this, even as toy cars, and dolls, would be replaced with sports equipment, rings, and bracelets. With all of these "imminent" changes coming, this is why the architect would design the shelter to be dug into the bedrock, and with structural members which would be used, for "later development" (should the need arise). Problem is that "later development" arrived, sooner, rather than later, as Alice would notify the Bradys that the back yard clothes line just didn't have enough room, for nine peoples clothes. As a result the LARGE, play area, originally designed, for the kids, would be reduced, in size, to make room for extra wash-lines. As Mike, and Carol, would tell the kids "There are nine of us, now. Alice cannot be expected to use a space, meant for four people, to handle the wash, for nine people." STARTING A NEW SCHOOL While Mike, and Carol, Brady, had thought that life was complicated enough, when each had three children, to register for school, the parents would learn the TRUE definition, of "writers cramps"", not just from the normal registration forms, but from all of the other forms. Forms which, nowadays, included giving the schools the right to "random drug testing". Add in the anti-gang paper-work, as well as anti-bullying paper-work, and criminal background checks. By the time the couple was finished filling out all the forms, for their children to start their new schools, both parents found themselves taking both massive amounts of oral pain killer, as well as "rub on" pain killer, for wrists and hands. These, Mike and Carol Brady, would apply, to arms, wrists, and hands, to soothe the pain, from filling out the forms. As for the actual delivery, of the childrens new school forms, with six children to enroll, Carol Brady was prepared to use shopping bags, to deliver the paper-work. That is, until Greg, and Marcia, would remind their mother "Grocery bags are not permitted, on school grounds, anymore, rememeber?" While Carol seemed confused, Alice would come to Mrs. Brady's "rescue", asking the kids "Why are grocery bags not allowed on school property?" Greg would hesitate, while Marcia would say "The principals are spreading the rumor that drug dealers are using grocery bags, to sell drugs, to students. The school wants everyone to think that no one gives a second look, at grocery bags." While Carol would tell Alice "That may be true. After all, how often do WE notice other families shopping bags?" Alice would say "At a grocery store? Who pays attention, to ANY bags?" When Carol would ask Mike, for any suggestions he might have, Mike would suggest "Why dont you use my travel case? I dont have any out-of-town meetings, for a few weeks. Carry the papers, in there." Carol would embrace, and kiss, her husband, as she would say "Thanks, Mike. You're a life-saver." While Carol Brady was happy, with her husband, for the loan, of the brief case, the person Mrs. Brady was NOT happy with was the security guard, at the school. A brutish, arrogant, man, who INSISTED that not only did the breifcase have to be opened, BEFORE Carol and ALice, even entered the school buildings, but security insisted upon "rifling" through the entire contents, of the briefcase, before allowing the women to enter the school building. By the time Carol, and Alice, made it inside the buildings, and through the metal detectors, and entered the principals offices, staff were arrogant enough to say "You are late!" When Carol would mention the security guards, metal detectors, and so on, staff just ignored the women, saying "Next time, you should arrive, sooner. It is im-polite to keep administration waiting." By the time Carol, and Alice returned home, both women were ready to pull their hair out, even as Carol informed Mike of what a "nightmare"" school registration had become. While Mike Brady agreed with his wife, over how complicated school procedures had become, in the days since the adults were students, Mike would, also, remind Carol "Honey, we see it, everyday, in the news. Schools being shot up, students committing suicide, bullies terrorizing students. School is NOTHING like it was, when we were children." Carol would say "thats for sure. I just could not believe that, after that guard ransacked your briefcase, then left Alice and I to put everything back together, that school officials would only say "You should have arrived, earlier. Not one word, about the guard, ransacking your briefcase." Mike would say "Honey, schools are just trying to protect students." Carol would, only, say "Thank God, its all over with. One more meeting, like those, today, and you would be bailing ME out of jail, for attacking an attacker." (Mike Brady could envision the headlines. "House-wife attacks security, for ransacking private property!" Mike would supress a laugh.) THE SUBJECT WAS HECKLING: Not long after the Brady kids began attending their new school, and the boys, and girls, began referring to one another as siblings, the fights would begin. The schools bullies would begin heckling Greg, Peter, and Bobby, over the fact that the boys considered Marcia, Jan, and Cindy their sisters. When the boys asked "So what? We live in the same house. Whats it to you?" When the bullies would suggest "I wonder if your old lady really IS the girls old lady, as well. Maybe, THAT is why their old man married your old lady. Maybe he was "messing around, and got caught."" When Greg would step forward, saying "Take that back, right now.", the bully would say "Make me", then refer to the Brady boys as illegitimate. Result, Greg, and Peter, would return home, with black eyes, bumps, and bruises. This, while promising Carol "Its not that bad. We just had to defend you, and dad." After Greg, and Peter, would explain how the school bullies would accuse Carol, and Mike, of having three affairs, which lead to the three girls, Carol would suggest "Let ME talk to your father. Perhaps we can find a civilized way out of this." Carol was just as surprised, as Mike was, at the very idea that they had married, due to a past affair. After all, Carol and Mike had not even MET, until after their spouses had perished. HOW could anyone think that total strangers could have three children? It was not until Mike, and Carol, went to the school principal, to ask what action the school planned to take, that the principal would say "Mrs. Brady, kids will be kids. There is NOTHING the school can do, to stop kids from thinking certain things." When the principal would ask "After all, how do you think it LOOKS, to the community? A widower, with three girls, suddenly marries a widow, with three boys?" When Carol would ask "Just WHAT are you IMPLYING?" The principal would say "Lets face it, Mrs. Brady. far too often, nowadays, people ONLY marry when girls/women become pregnant. Even widowed people wait a respectable length of time, before pursuing new relationships. How do you think it looks? You, and Mr. Brady, after such a short time?" This is when Mike Brady would say "Sir, I dont think I like your attitude. Mixed marriages are nothing new." When the principal would say "Something we are TRYING to discourage. The school district wants children to be raised with PROPER morals, and values. I only hope you can understand this." Mike Brady would say "Oh, I understand. Just as anti-Negro racism is illegal, while anti-white racism is, totally, LEGAL. Yes, I understand you, sir." Then Mike would turn to Carol, saying "We are wasting our time, here. Come, darling, we are leaving." THE POWER/VOICE OF THE PEOPLE What the school principal never counted on was the "force", which a group, of eight Brady's, could bring to the publics attention. While Mike would contribute all that he could, when not working on his latest project, it would be Carol, Alice, and the kids, who would raise public awareness, regarding mixed/blended families. It would only be during this period, that several, local, children would learn the truth, about their own heritage. While some parents were re-married, after divorces, local children would be surprised to learn how many children were from widowed-based marriages. Something no one had informed the children about, since the adults did not think that it mattered. It was, also, not until almost three months, into the campaign that Carol and Alice noticed something which neither had paid any attention to, before. Was it just coincidence, or Racism, that there were only white families, living in the area? It was not until a home-owners meeting, to discuss how to proceed, with the school, that Carol brought up the subject, only to be met with a combination of blank stares, and others, who promised "Anyone is welcome, so long as they are buying, and maintaining, their property." As one neighbor would promise "Carol, I promise you that we have never been "white supremacists". Anyone saying otherwise is lying. Truth is that we "just happen" to be the ones, who bought, in this area. Just as you, and Mr. Brady did." As a result of the disclosure, of information, it would seem that both the principal, and several members, of the school board, would resign. It would seem that "Purification" HAD been their goal, all along. Now that the truth was known, and the blended families were accepted, the question became "Who will the next principal be? Who will select the next leader? What QUALITIES should we seek, in the next principal?" When Carol would ask Mike, Mike would be quick to say "Leave me OUT of it. I have enough work to do, with my job, and providing for our family." Carol would take her husband into a choke-hold, saying "Michael Brady, if I didn't love you, I would strangle you." Mike would smile as he said "You are doing a pretty good job, at both."

THE COMPETITION

THE COMPETITION While I would, never, have admitted that the "rules", of the competition, were to be decided, BEFORE the actual event was decided upon, When the bets were made, I think that I shocked Stacey, with my choice, of wager. While Staceys boyfriend, Michael, was wagering $500 worth of coccaine, his friend, Roy, made a slightly more reasonable wager. Two 24-packs, of his favorite beer. Simon, the "compulsive" gambler, wagered $1,000. Three, other, men put up car titles, while two men put up truck titles. When it was my turn, to wager, I put up "One month, with Stacey". (Even Stacey was surprised, when Michael had said "You're on!). As for the details, of the competition, Stacey had mentioned (to me, in secret) what was being planned, a few days in advance. Simply put, in the days, since graduating high school, very FEW, of the groups classmates, had lead active, healthy, lifestyles. In fact, most had slipped into their own parents routines. The reason why I knew this was not just because I could see that the other men were developing LARGE bellies, but, also, because Stacey was surprised, at my own health. Stacey had informed me that she was impressed, with my health, since she was amazed that, un-like her own father (who was about my age), yet 150 pounds overweight, that I was as slim, and shapely, as guys who were just over 20 years old. In fact, one of my own doctors had praised my health, saying "IF more of my patients were in as good of health, as you are, I would be looking for another job". As for the rules, of the competition, these were simple. Each man was to do his best to return to being in "high school" condition. The one, who came closest, would win. When Daniel suggested a time-limit, I was the first, but not the last, to ask "WHY?" After all, we were not training, for the Olympics. As for when we stepped on the scale, in order to determine how FAR each of us had to go, to "win", atleast two 265 pound men cried "foul", when I weighed in, at just 188 pounds. It was when the objecting men were told "You can quit, if you want to.", that the men decided to stay in the wager. What concerned wives, and girlfriends, was the question of just how LONG each man would stay with the wager. (Another) Michaels wife, and Rogers girlfriend, had, both watched as men purchased health club memberships, which they let lapse, come sports season. Rodney had spent $5,000, on a home gym kit. He spent four months building the thing, in their garage. Rodney kept saying "When I am ready..." Since the kits completion, Rodney's family had used the gym as storage. These are just some of the reasons why the women were not to concerned, with the wager. They had watched their men START health improvement projects, only to return to sedentary lifestyles. The reason why Stacey was a bit concerned, over my wager, was the fact that, even PRIOR to the wager, she had watched me exercise, on a daily basis. When she had asked "Why?" I had told her "Since I broke my back, I have to exercise, daily, in order to keep the pain under control, until my back is fully healed." When Stacey asked "How LONG will that be?" I told her "Depends upon which doctor you speak to. Some say I could be healed, this year while others say I will be in "rehab", for YEARS to come. All I know is that, if I want to be free, of the pain, exercise is my primary option." My answer astounded Stacey, who was well aware, of dozens, of men, all of whom consumed MASSIVE amounts, of pain killers, while body parts healed. While we men put our competition agreement in writing, on one computer, then each signed the paper, the women drafted their own agreement, as to how LONG each man would remain with the competition. For the first, few, days, of the competition, maybe twenty men took part, in the exercise plan. By day four, however, five men had said they would handle weight loss, on their own. By the end of week number two, it seems that I was, still, the only man, who was working out. While Staceys friends all shared tales, of how mens "healthy eating" had gone by the side, after just a few days, Stacey was the only woman, to be able to say "My guy may be eating MORE than I do, but he IS maintaining the diet, and exercise." Her friends had come to understand that the term "my guy", referred to me, not Michael. This is when Stacey's friends would annoy her, by, repeatedly, stating "He's NOT a MAN!" and "He does not DESERVE a woman!". When Stacey just shrugged, at the women, one wooman grabbed Stacey's arm, asking "Dont you understand? He's (me) NOT a MAN! Dont waste your time, on him! He is not willing to KILL, for what he wants. He's NOT a REAL MAN!" Stacey, simply, reminded the woman "No one is asking YOU to date him." As Stacey walked away, from the woman, annd woman called out, to Stacey's back "You'll be sorry. He is NOT a MAN!" While I, never, quite reached my goal, of becoming as slim, as I had been, just out of high school, even Stacey admitted that I was becoming firm as a rock. In fact, when the time came, to move the exercise equipment, to make room, in Rodney's garage, Stacey was not one bit surprised when I handled most of the lifting. While Michael, Rodney, and the rest, stopped even keeping weight journals, after "slipping" from the competition, their women kept journals, primarily of the mens weight GAIN. Even when doctors warned, of the danger, of excess weight, the mens "universal" response was "I can drop the weight any time I feel like it." After each doctors appointment, the women watched as men exercised, for two, to four, days, before returning to regular habits. For Stacey, the biggest laugh, of her days, were the many times when, during exercise, I would joke "Staying healthy is going to kill me." Still, Stacey became impressed enough that she began sharing meals with me (to find out just how healthy my lifestyle actually was). While her friends "boasted" that their men could "pack away" three triple-cheese-burgers, super-size fries, and five beers, at one sitting, Stacey would admit that while she ate regular size salads, with grilled meat, that I ate triple size salads, and some extra, grilled meat. While it was, never, part of the deal, when a charity brought an "adult obstacle course" to town, with the mens section being able to win a choice, of prizes, either for themselves, or others, I was pleased when Stacey snuggled up, to me, whispering "I KNOW you can do it." When I turned out to be the first adult, to complete the course, I chose a ring, for Stacey. And why not? One of the things that few people knew about was what happened, when Stacey had told her mother, not only about the competition, but of how Stacey, still slim, and trim, was, no-doubt, in high school condition, herself. When mother had said "II'll bet your not." Stacey had questioned her mothers opinion, but only until her mother produced a $100 bill. When mother said "Its yours, IF you can do the same exercises, which you did, in high school." Since Stacey's high school days were not half as far behind her, as mine were, Stacey was certain that the money would be hers, easily. That is, until midway through the exercises, when Stacey had to stop, and rest. This, while mother would mention "When you were in school, you, never, needed a rest." It was after Stacey had required two additional rest periods, for the school exercises, that Stacey asked to join me, in my daily routine. Before she joined me, in my routine, however, Stacey had asked her doctor just how far out of shape she was. When her doctor would say "It will take you atleast six months, to get back in condition, once you start." Like the doctor had said "Slim, and trim, alone, are not proof of health. Exercising the muscles was important, as well. Result, for the past three months, leading up to the charity event, Stacey and I had become not only exercise partners, but I began sharing her walks, in the city's parks. This is why, when I had entered the obstacle course, Stacey had no doubt that I would finish. (Stacey just smiled at the men, who stood by, watching, as a man, twice their age, did what they could not). After the charity event, when Michael tried to rule the competition "in-valid", Stacey told him "No you dont!. You agreed to the challenge." Stacey could see, plainly, why Michael wanted to erase the challenge. In the months, since the challenge had started, Michael had gone from 255 pounds, to 260. His most recent weigh in was at 275. While his doctors had cautioned the man, about his weight, Michael, still, claimed "I can lose it anytime I want to." While most people thought it would be Stacey, who had said "PROVE IT!", it would, in fact, be Penny. Not only did Penny say this, to Michael, but she said it, to Roger, as well. For seven, whole, painful, days, both men tried exercise, but this ended when results did not come fast enough. When the women asked Stacey HOW she motivated ME, to exercise, daily, Stacey had started out with listing my back injury, but smiled as she said "He loves me." One thing several, of the women, found humorous, was how their men tried to "get around" physicals. The women came to know when their mens work physicals were due, since this was the ONE day, every six months, when the men ate a healthy breakfast, and started the day, with exercise. While the women said nothing, and just obeyed their mens wishes, the results, of the doctors visits were, always, the same. When the men went for check-ups, doctors would remind the men "Since your exercise, and diet, begin, and end, on exam day, you are wasting your time. Two days exercise, and dieting, per year, is NOT going to make you healthy." The men grumbled, but accepted the diagnosis. Prognosis: Obesity, and lack of exercise. Doctors would restrict what work the men could do. Stacey would tell me that Marcy had told her that Neil had scoffed, at his doctor, when, at 375 pounds, the doctor recommended a visit to an undertaker. Neil should get measured, for a coffin, and choose the unit he wanted to be buried in. When Neil had informed the doctor "I can take the weight off, any time I want to.", Neil had been surprised when the doctor had asked "Why not start, now? What are you waiting for?" When Neils next stop, after the doctors office, then giving Marcy what Neil called the "whacked out" results, Neil, then, proceeded to an "all you can eat buffet", telling Marcy "I am going to toast my last day, as a "free man". Tomorrow, I start on my diet." While Marcy had been ashamed, enough, to be seen, with the man, while he "celebrated", Marcy would tell Stacey that, once she got Neil home, she asked him for a weigh in. Marcy wanted to know what exact poundage Neil was, when he began his latest "diet". Even sitting, on the scale, Marcy reported that Neil had weighed in, at 405 pounds. Marcy "knew" what was going to happen, that night, but she knew she could not prevent it. When Neil did not even kiss her "good night", she knew. Marcy would, later, ask Stacey "Am I evil, for not trying to save his life?" Stacey would, only, say "Each of us must decide, for ourselves. You did the best that you could." Neil was the seventh member, to sign the competition statement, and the fifth to die, an early death. Thankfully, un-like some of the other men, Neil did not leave behind a family, for his woman to raise, by herself. Out of the twenty-five signators, to the competition document, only three, of us, survived to the age of forty. Shortly after Neil passed away, Michael wanted to prove that he was in much better shape, then even his doctor said he was. As a result, once at 385 pounds, Michael told Stacey, and I "I will PROVE that I am in the best condition, since high school." Michaels U.S. Marine-style exercise plan was designed for men, who were in far BETTER shape, than Michael. This is why his exercise program lasted three days. After just three days, of Marine Corps exercises, the 380 pound mans heart gave out. At his paupers funeral, attended only by his closest "friends", Stacey thought back to Michaels, and the other mens, obituaries, and wondered. While a FEW, of the men, left families behind, most of the men were represented, by nothing more than "date of birth", and "date of death". While I, personally, did not FEEL like a "winner", the women told me that, as last, surviving member, of the competition, I had "won", by default. The one thing Stacey knew was that, beyond my health maintenance, I would be remembered, for far MORE, than healthy living. She knew this since I had a large enough internet presense, with my fictions, that my obit would be five times the size, of the normal, half inch, obits. What neither Stacey, nor my doctors, could have forseen, was what was coming, next. Due to SOME condition, which I developed, and the treatment, for the condition being rather severe, I would, in fact, have to give up my "position", as the BIGGEST LOSER, when my recovery meant that, like performing artist Raymond Burr, my recovery left me to weak to feed myself. For eight weeks, Stacey had to actually FEED me, until I was strong enough to feed myself. And, YES, I did pack on the pounds, during recovery. The doctors cautioned that weight GAIN, under such circumstances, is, perfectly, normal. The doctors also, told the media "Due to the patients health records, we can predict, with full confidence, that the patient will shed the pounds, in "no time". While I did gain 40 pounds, in recovery, as soon as the doctor gave both Stacey and I the "go ahead", Stacey knew where my first stop would be. By the time it was my turn, to be laid to rest, it was a recorded FACT that I HAD, in fact, shed the recovery pounds. What impressed Stacey, however, was the fact that my obit was neither a one inch piece, nor confined, to the "Death notices" section. No, my notice became a feature piece, in city/state. A full list, of my stories accompanied. Stacey would be listed as my widow, and inheritor. Stacey would suppress a smile, when she learned that my funeral was over-shadowing that, of a senator, who was pushing for repeal, of all, social, services. His funeral was pushed to page two, while I "dominated" page one. Stacey did get her wish, though. Not in the way she had thought that she would. Her long-term plan was to be the widow, of someone special. In many ways, she achieved this goal. Her remaining question was: WHAT do I do, with the rest of MY life?